Dangan Ronpa: a life of new hope
by wmsm5ever
Summary: (Not a serious Dangan Ronpa fic. Intended as a parody) ok so nicki minaj locks 15 new students in hopes peak academy. join makoto naegi and his man sayaka miley cyrus maizono as they band together and try 2 escape. in this tale of twists turns and shocking murder mysterys it will always leave you wanting more. plus tons of hot romance and drama. oh and weave snatching.
1. makoto meets the other people

there was once a school for ppl with talent. they called it hopes peak academy. it was where all the bad bitches went. if u didn't go to hopes peak academy u weren't a bad bitch. that's why emily was the president of hopes peak.

but one day the principal fucked up like the dum bitch he was and sent makoto naegi, a normal student, an invitation. the schoolboard punished him by sending him to space lol that was a good ass day. we got so high after we sent him 2 space i swear we were higher then him. o shit i'm switching pov thats not a good thing to do in a story okay let me get back to this story.

so naegi got invited to the school for bad bitches and he was so excited. the day he got the letter he was so excited that he called all his friends and then realized that he didnt have any so he was excited to make friends at hopes peak. and then he realized that he wasn't a bad bitch so he got scared.

when the first day of school came he looked at the school. it was a big ass school omfg. like it was so big. bigger then chihiro fujisaki's ding a ling which is huge. it was so big just omfg you cant even describe how big it is omfg it was just so big. bigger than nicki minajs ego.

okay im lying it was only kind of big but that isn't the point. naegi realized that he needed a hip funky title if he wanted to fit in. he decided on Super high school level lucky person thing

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL LUCKY PERSON THING- MAKOTO NAEGI**

so then naeg entered in the school. he was scared.  
"i'm so scared" naegi said. he was so scared. the moment he closed the door behind him he felt like he was tripping on acid. he could also hear nicki minaj's part from y u mad in the background which was weird. "oh lawd" naegi said before passing out

"what is this" naegi said whenever he woke up in the classroom. "why was there nicki minaj playing in the background im in japan why do i listen to that shit" he asked himself. lol it was crazy. so he looked around the room for a bit. all he saw was that the windows were bolted shut. he searched some crates. all he found was a note, a map with a hidden tunnel that the headmaster left so nobody would die, and a cheeta girls album. he threw all that away because it wasnt important. "what do i do now" he asked.

nicki minaj then popped in the room. "boi u needta go to da cafeteria." she said and then she disappeared. "oh i think i need to go to the cafeteria" he thought to himself. "thanks nicki minaj" he said.

so he went to the cafeteria. nobody was there. "nicki minaj lied to me i'm so hurt imma cry."

naegi ran off to the gym crying. his feelingz were so hurt. and as soon as he opened the door he heard people scream at him "SUPRISE!" they screamed. Naegi screamed like a girl and peed his pants lol it was so funny.

"hi i'm hagakure how are you."

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL 420- YASUHIRO HAGAKURE**

"hi im makoto" naegi said  
"i know my magic weed told me" hagakure said. "da magic weed knows all. praise 420"  
"what"  
"my religion is 420 i worship the halloween bunny she gives out the good weed every 420 hallaluyar." he said. naegi walked away.

"hey sexy how r u" he said as he approached a girl with long curly pigtails  
"my name is celestia ludenburg no i meant taeko yasuhiro no i mean lolita rihanna how r u" lolita rihanna said

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL DEFINITELY-NOT-LYING-ABOUT-HER-NAME- LOLITA RIHANNA**

"hey lolita rihanna r u into anal sex" makoto asked her  
"yea bend over" lolita rihanna said. makoto ran away like the lil bitch he is lol

next up he approached a boy.  
"hey how r u what's ur name i'm makoto"  
"my name is kiyotaka ishimaru, how r u."

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL DEFINITELY HETEROSEXUAL- KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU**

"makoto i want 2 make out with u. no homo tho." ishimaru said. "i also like to follow the rules but i don't mind if u don't."  
"what"  
"don't worry its not gay cuz i said no homo." ishimaru said. naeggi walked away

He approached an it next.  
"hey i'm chihiro fujisaki how r u" chihiro asked

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL PIMP- CHIHIRO FUJISAKI**

"i'm a pimp" chihiro said. "i got ho's in all 69 states and tennessee" he said as she pulled out a bunch of pictures of gardening hoes taken in all 50 states.  
"wow i thought there were only 2 states in america tho" naegi asked chihiro  
"no u dumb ho there are over 6 states in the us. don't u kno basic world geometry."  
"o" naegi said walking away.

next naegi walked up to a girl who was brushing her teeth wiff a bottle of jack and jill.

"hi i'm mukuro ikusaba o shit i wasn't supposed to say that i'm junko enoshima oh wait no i'm ke$ha."

**$UPER HIGH $CHOOL LEVEL DRUNK A$$ BITCH- KE$HA**

"o hey ke$ha i'm a big fan of ur song take in on" naegi said blushuuing at ke$ha. ke$ha passed out. "o" naegi said, walking up to a guy with corn poop hair.

"Sup i'm mondo oowada nice 2 meet u"

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL CENSORSHIP- MONDO OOWADA**

"my mommy says i'm not allowed 2 say bad words or be in a gang with my bfffffffls. she's 2 mean 2 me. she also says h8 is a bad word. o wait i said a bad word i'm sorry mommy pls forgive me."  
"k den" naegi said, walking away. next he approached a girl. she was fine. finer than a sharpie so u know she fine oh wait fuck that's a man guys narrator is bisexual now.

"narrator u a dumb bitch i'm a woman." she said  
oh. narrator said. sorry

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL OH SHIT THAT'S A WOMAN- SAKURA OOGAMI**

"blushuu naegg ur 2 cute" sakura said  
"i don't like penis" naegi said as he started thinking about penis.  
"i don't have a penis" sakura said  
"oh but i only like penis" naegi said. walking away. sakura cri  
"NAEGG Y U NO LUV ME" she said calmly in all caps.

"who should i meet next." naegi said. he approached a fat boy. this boy was bigger than nicki minajs ego lemme tell u.

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL PROBABLY A BRONY- HIFUMI YAMADA**

"i'm not a brony" yamada said as he had his brony shirt on.  
"eww furry" naegi said  
"no i'm not a brony. clop with me naegi"  
"what"  
"no I said wop with me naegi" yamada said as he wopped while that wop song was playing. i don't even know what its called i don't listen to that but anyways.

"ooh naegi meet me pls." a boy said.

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL MALE STRIPPER- LEON KUWATA (Stage name: Pounded by Balls)**

"o i herd of u i see ur shows every day"  
"oh okay u want autograph."  
"yea" makoto said  
"ok here" loen said as he sign naegi's size D tittiez

next up was a girl that was patting her weave  
"hi who are u" she asked

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL HOODRAT DETECTIVE- KYOQUEESHA "Keisha" QUEERIQUEERI**

"O sorry I was investigatin the booty" keisha said.  
"i know i saw" naeleggi said as he watched keisha investigate the booty.  
"so what now tho" naegi said  
"we murder" keisha said. "lol jk who would murder anyone that's ratchet."  
"yea" then naegi walked away. next up he approached a boy.

"hi-"  
"Don't you dare approach me if all you're going to do is talk in improper grammar for such a poorly written fan fiction." he said

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL ONLY LOGICAL ONE IN THIS FAN FICTION- BYAKUYA TOGAMI**

"how do u pronounce ur first name that's like trying to rap i dunno how to do that."  
"If you would, would you please go away? I don't want your... Improperness to rub off on me."  
naegi cri "ur so mean." he said as he ran away and crashed into a girl.

"wow this gives me a new idea for a novel. i'll call it "shaniqua and the bitch who didn't want where the fuck she was going."" the girl said

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL GHETTO DRAMA WRITER- TOUKO FUKAWA**

"rude" naegi said  
"#uwannago"  
"yea"  
"pls don't fight in the school friends... kill each other in the parking lots i'll video tape it and get lots of views on redtube." ishimaru said.  
"k" naegi walked away.

"oh hi i'm aoi assahina how r u."

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL I CAN'T EVEN THINK OF A TITLE FOR HER SO JUST IMAGINE SHE HAS SOME WELL THOUGHT OUT TITLE OR SOMETHING I REALLY DON'T CARE- AOI ASSAHINA**

****"wow u got big boobs" naegi said. aoi slap him.  
"don't look at my size H-23 boobs." Aoi said. "I like swimming and donuts."  
"so do i lol we have so much in common."  
aoi look through the hole of a donut she brought out. "look lol i'm keeping an eye out for selener."  
"k bye"

naegi looked around there were 1 more student left. it was a girl he recognized. it was sayaka maizono.

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL JAPANESE MILEY CYRUS- SAYAKA MAIZONO**

she started twerking.  
"hey maizono. long time no see" naegi said. but all maizono did was twerk and stick her tongue out.  
"wow that's hot girl shake that booty." ishimaru said for a second and then after staring at maizonos booty he threw up.

"okay lol so now that you guys have met each other orientation can begin." everybody heard a voice from behind the podium. in a flash of light, they saw their new headmaster: it was nicki minaj.

(2 BE CONTINUE)

* * *

(not srs AN: wow I worked so hard on that i hope u like it it took hours give me 5 star favorite and review kthxbye)

(Serious AN: Okay it should go without saying that this is intended as a joke. As the storyline progresses things are just going to get even worse. Just please, I don't want people to actually think this was serious. I won't be doing very many serious author notes... I just thought that I should do this one. I hope it gave you a good laugh, though!)


	2. nicki minaj's betrayal :(

(not srs an: WOW THANK U ALL FOR THE KIND REVIEWS ILY ALL XOXOXOXOXO HERE'S ANOTHER CHAPTER 4 U GUYS.)

* * *

"i am your leada yes i am your leada u not a beleva suck a big dick!" nicki minaj said. everyone was scared.  
"o id love to suck a big dick. no homo tho" ishimaru said. chihiro blusshuued.  
"meet me in my room tonite bby ill let u suck my big dick" he said winkign at ishimaru.

"aight y'all if you all is done wiff dat gay shit lets begin orientation" nicki minaj said  
"oh orientation i'm straight" ishimaru said as he started thinking about having an 8 way with all the men at the school.  
"i'm bi" chihiro said  
"i'm ke$ha" ke$ha said before passing out.  
"my sexual orientation is makoto naegi" sakura said, blusshuing at naegi.

"STOP FUCKIN INTERRUPTING ME YOU BITCHES!" Nicki yelled.  
"mommy says that f**k is a bad word" mondo said  
"anyways. so u all are trapped in this school." everyone gasped. "if u want out you bitches gotta kill each otha in order to escape. o and u can't get caught. if u get caught u get executed lol. ive done this before and it was hilarious watch." the lights dimmed. a movie screen came up. it showed a girl with blue pigtails being executed. nicki pushed her down the stares and she die. everyone gasped.

"OH LAWDY WE GONE DIE!" queeriqueeri said. she knew they were gone die  
"chainz n whips excite me." lolita rihanna said. "and firetrucks"  
"lolita rihanna now ain't the time for that she just said we gotta kill each other." naegi sed.  
"shut up komaeda" everyone said.  
"lol no I'm not Koko puffs that's gonna be in the sequel of this story." naegg said

"anyways. if nobody kills in 3 days i'll provide a motive. lol this motive is funny as fuck."  
"what's the motive?" assahina asked.  
"oh i play kidz bop throughout the school 24/7 until somebody dies."  
everyone screamed.

"alright orientation over."

everyone was scared. was it true? was nicki minaj really gonna play kidzbop to everyone? maizono scream.

"ahhhh" she said "so scary"  
"i know" sakura said  
"queeriqueeri why r u so quiet." Hagakure asked  
"im investigatin the booty."  
"oh"  
"yea"

"Okay so this is completely illogical." togami began. "First we get locked in this school, and then Nicki Minaj, who isn't even a Japanese citizen, approaches us and tells us to kill each other. This isn't logical. None of this adds up!"

nicki minaj appears. "lol okay togami why are you even in this story a review said they don't like u so we're gonna make it like you weren't even here." nicki said.

"WAIT NICKI MINAJ WHAT ARE YOU DOING I-" But then after nicki preformed the time warp, a red head girl appeared in togamis place.

"hi i'm mahiru koizumi whats up"

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL INSTAGRAM WHORE/PORNOGRAPHY DIRECTOR- MAHIRU KOIZUMI**

"wow maizono sayaka ily i'm gonna film a porn with u. it'll be called "leon kuwata penetrates maizono in the shower"  
maizono didn't respond. she just couldn't stop twerking. no, she wouldn't stop twerking.

"okay lol now kill each other." nicki minaj said, disappearing.

"ooh guys i have an idea what if we have a dinner party" assahina suggested. "who knows how to cook?"  
hagakure smiled "i know how to make some bomb ass weed brownies, praise 420."  
"i brought lots of edible man panties." ishimaru said  
"o i brought a lifetime supply of lunchables." sakura said.  
"i know how to make twerkies. they're cookies in the shape of twerking." maizono said.  
"o shit maizono spoke." naegi said.  
"okay lol lets have dinner i can't possibly see how this dinner could go wrong!" chihiro said  
"why didn't i get any dialoge in this chapter im pissed" leon said  
"me 2 loen" yamada said

(2 BE CONTINUED)

* * *

(not srs an: wow lol so nicki minaj trapped them in the school. what do u guys think will happen at the fancy dinner? be sure 2 rate, favorite, and review and give this story 3 likes on instagram and review lol kthxby)


	3. twerkies, weed brownies, and murder

so everyone decided to do a fancy dinner. and lemme tell you this dinner was fancy as fuck. they had twerkies, lunchables, and weed brownies. basically lil waynes dinner every day.

anyways this dinner was fancy. koizumi wasnt eating she was too busy posting pictures of the dinner on instagram lol dumb bitch XD anyways, these bitches were eating some good ass food.

"pass the pizza sauce, bitch" keisha said to mondo

"mommy mondo says b***h is a bad word."

the brownies were making everyone higher than jin kirigiri. everyone was having a good time.  
"koizumi your hair looks like an uncircumsized penis" hagakure said

"fuck u hagakur" koizumi said.

"so anyone want me to blow them under the table no homo tho." ishimaru asked

"ishmaru ur gay" fukawa said

"fuck u fukawa im not gay i just want somebody to put their dick in my butt" ishimaru said. lol u kno he gay as hell tho.

"fuk u narrator im straight... what does straight mean"ishimaru said

"lol idk im fucking seyonji i only kno gay" koizumi said

"dis a good ass lunchable." yamada began. "it makes me want to clop"

"what" naegi said

"i mean wop" yamada said as he started wopping.

"wait before we eat i need to say a prayer to the 420 god" hagakure said. he got up and turnded the lights off.

"DEAR 420 GOD THANK YOU FOR THIS RED-EYE CAUSING MEAL THAT YOU HAVE PROVIDED FOR US. 420 SMOKE WEED. BLESS ME WITH THE WONDERFUL POWER OF KUSH. ONLY WITH THE POWER OF MARY JANE MAY I SURVIVE THIS SCHOOL LIFE THAT NICKI MINAJ HATH BESTOWED UPON ME... LOL OKAY I'M DONE WITH MY PRAYER TO THE 420 GOD U CAN TURN THE LIGHTS ON."

Leon turned the lights on. and when he did everyone scream like the little bitches they were lol. because as soon as the lights came on hagakure had a knife in his chest and for some reason the blood was pink.

"oh shit hagakure spilled the pepto bismol what happens when i get indegestion tho" leon said.

"no leon i think somebody murdered hagakure" keisha said

"o"

"okay so what happens now hagakure dead" makoto asked

"o we celebrate because now we dont have to listen to kidz bop" chihiro said.

koizumi got out her cheap ass smart phone. "brb gotta instagram this shit" she said. she put pictures of hagakures body on instagram and put as the description "lmfaooooo look at this dum bitch dyin at dinner and shit"

but then they heard the annoucnements. it was nicki minajs voices "okay bitches so we got a dead body here. now i know aint nobody give a shit about who died but we gotta have a school trial anyways. oh and ill give u a lil time to investigate so u can accuse someone" nicki said. lol nicki was one of the baddest bitches at the school. the only person badder than her was emily.

"hm... what if we go thrift shopping." naegi suggested

"no naegg we have to investigate the murder of 420!" ishimaru said

"what if we get queeriqueeri to do it she's the detective." mondo said

"no i only investigate the booty" queeriqueeri said

"fuk" sakura said.

"I wanna go thrift shopping... but i only have $20 in my pocket." aoi said, crying

"assahina theres no time for thrift shopping" sakura said

"wat r u doin sakura" assahina asked

"thingkeg about naegi" sakura said crying a tear

"lol no man sakura" aoi said. sakura crie. everyone laughed.

"u guys r so mean." sakura said. lol sakura was a pussy.

"ok fine i'll investigate" ishimaru said. he look at the body. "ok he dead and there's a knife... i didn't even get to do the do with him tho... no homo."

"ok so now what" lolita rihanna said. then the anouncements sounded. it was the beautiful sexy hot voice of nicki minaj.

"ok school trial time meet at the elevators so we can begin."

"k" naegi said. then they all walk to the elevator.

(TO BE CONTINUED)


	4. class trial 1: ishimaru helps naegi

lol so they all fitted into the small ass elevator. and i mean this elevator was small as fuck. smaller then mukuro ikusabas titties. which is pretty damn small. and then they all went to the cheap ass classroom court. the stands were all arranged in a circle, and there was a throne off to the side. nicki sat in that throne cuz shes the queen lol

"k so this is the classroom trial. i want you all to masturbate fuck i mean mass debate about who killed hagakure." nicki minaj said. everyone went to their respective stands.

NONSTOP DEBATE BEGIN

rihanna: okay lol so who killed hagakure  
chihiro: not me  
ke$ha: like... who cares?  
koizumi: lol hagakure stupid he got killed on the first day  
naegi: U GOT HTE WRONG

END NONSTOP DEBATE

"koizumi u stupid ho it was night when hakagure died" naegi said  
"o shit." koizumi said. lol she a dum bitch  
"THIS MEANS UR THE MEERRRRDEEERRRRER" assahina says  
"no im not" koizumi said  
"o. well shit im out of leads now" naegi said.  
"lets mass debate about the weapon i dont kno what it is" yamada says  
"yamada u fat fuck it was a knife" queeriqueeri said  
"o" yamada said.  
maizono was too busy twerking to pay attention.

NONSTOP DEBATE  
naegi: what now im out of leads  
assahina: why 420 he liked 2 get high  
mondo: maybe thats why he was killed. because somebody wanted hte w**d all to themselfs. mommy says w**d is a bad word so i'm not allowed to say it.  
chihiro: didnt ishimaru love 2 follow hte rules. i accuse ishimaru  
naegi: I GAREE!  
END NONSTOP DEBATE

"yea it was ishimaru"  
"no it wasnt." ishimaru said  
"fuck im out of leads again" naegi said  
"plus my religion is also 420. no homo tho." ishimaru said  
"im scared what if we all die because we dont know who the culprit is" fukawa said  
"fukawa stop bein a pussy" chihiro said.  
"chihiro u arn't even a woman dont give me that shit." fukawa said  
"o okay fine fuck u lets prove it." chihiro said

NONSTOP DEBATE  
chihiro: I'LL HAVE U KNO I AM A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN  
Ishimaru: emphasis on beautiful no homo tho  
chihiro: o shit nevermind ishimarus hot im actually a man u caught me  
END NONSTOP DEBATE

"okay so what about leads?" gothic rihanna said.  
"um who could have stabbed hagakur" koizumi asked.  
"penis" ishimaru responded  
"wow ishimarus intellegant rebuttal has helped me figure out who the culprit is" naegi said raising his finger.  
"orly who?" chihiro said. chihiro a stupid bitch he should have known that ishimarus rebuttal revealed who the culprit was.

**MAKE AN ACCUSATION**

**MAKOTO NAEGI**  
**CHIHIRO FUJISAKI**  
**MONDO OOWADA**  
**KE$HA**  
**-KYOQUISHA QUEERIQUEERI-**  
**AOI ASSAHINA**  
**SAKURA OOGAMI**  
YASUHIRO HAGAKURE  
**LOLITA RIHANNA**  
**MILEY CYRUS "SAYAKA" MAIZONO**  
**HIFUMI YAMADA**  
**POUNDED BY BALLS "LOEN" KUWATA**  
**MAHIRU KOIZUMI**  
**KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU**  
**TOUKO FUKAWA**

**naegi: IT CLOUD NOLY BE U!**

"o shit am i caught" queeriqueeri sed  
"yea" naegi said  
"oh" queeriqueeri said  
"u see. ishimarus wonderful rebuttal made me realize dat u lied during hte investigation"

FLASHBACK

"what if we get queeriqueeri to do it she's the detective." mondo said

"no i only investigate the booty" queeriqueeri said

END FLASHBACK

"but tat was a lie. i saw u investigatin the dick earlier in the story. dat makes u suspicious." naegi said.  
"oh shit. i got caught in hte lie." queeriqueeri said  
"s-so u admit it?" mondo asked.  
"yea. i killed Yasuhiro 420 Hagakure." keisha said  
"queeriqueeri why" sakura asked, cryging  
"becaus. troof is i was planning to kill him all along. because his weave was flyer then mine. and aint nobody allowed to have a flyer weave then me. so i stabbed him when the lights were out. lol it was funny. dumb bitch." queeriqueeri sed with an evil laugh.  
"okay so just so i can get a good feel as for what happened." naegi said"

CLIMAX INFERENCE

"okay so the story starts after nicki minaj threatened us with kidz bop. queeriqueeri realize that hagakure had a better weave then her. so during dinner, after hagakure pray to the 420 gods, queeriqueeri stab him 3 seconds after loen cut the ligths on... and for some reason his blood was pepto bismol."

END CLIMAX INFERENCE

"wait so... queeriqueeri... ur the culprit?" assahina asked  
"bitch i might be" queeriqueeri responded.  
"but why." assahina started cry. "i mean nobody gave a shit about hagakure but he was our only source of weed... why would u kill him like that?"  
"becuz he had a better weave than me." queeriqueeri said

"lol okay so it's time 2 vote" Nicki minaj said

_**KYOQUEESHA "KEISHA" QUEERIQUEERI: GUILTY**_

"yea u guys r right. kyoqueesha queeriqueeri stabbed yasuhiro hagakur an spilled hte pepto bismol." nicki said  
"o" naegi said. maizono was still twerking. sakura was thinkign about naegg lol obsessed bitch. assahina was crying. ishimaru was thinking of doing the nasty with the boys. lolita rihanna didn't want the music to stop. i don't even want to know what yamadas nasty ass was thinking about. and kyoqueesha was calm.

"ok so its execution time now." nicki minaj sed  
"wh" queeriqueeri said

_**GAME OVER**_

_**KYOQUEESHA QUEERIQUEERI HAS BEEN FOUND GUILTY**_

_**COMMENCING EXECUTION**_

KYOQUEESHA QUEERIQUEERI EXECUTION: TWERKAHOLICS ANONYMOUS

some chainz come nd take kyoqueesha thru a curtain and drag her along lol lil bitch. shes thrown into a room where they're playing some funky fresh nicki minaj music. suddenly everybody else is outside of the glass room, watching kyoqueesha. suddenly kyoqueesha can't stop twerking. she begins twerking harder and harder. she eventaully twerk so hard she exploded lol.

END EXECUTION

"o thats how i want 2 go" maizono said in awe. everyone cri. except for chihiro cuz chihiro a bad bitch.  
"lol that was 2extreme. cant wait till second trial." nicki minaj said. "aight back to the dorms niggs."  
"k" naegi said


	5. the official hopes peak twerk team

so now it was after the first school trial where keisha queeriqueeri was executed :( everyone was shock. not at the fact that 2 of their friends just die but at the fact that twerking is dangerous.

"i dont see how twerkin is danger i twerk over 400 time a day and ive only been hit by a car doing that 900 times" maizono said  
koizumi sighed. "i cant belive that hagakur died first. i dont give a shit about him but he had our fix of weed."  
assahina spoke up "hey i hav an idea"  
"no assahina last time u had an idea somebody died" naegi sed  
"u tell her naegi bby" sakura said  
"shut up muscles" naegi said. sakura crie.

"okay so apparent some new flors opened up from the frist trial lets go" ishimaru said  
"ok follow the gay lol" naegi said  
"naegi im not gay and if u say that im gay again then ill suck ur dick" ishmaru said  
"gay" naegi said  
"fuk u" ishimaru said

"wow this gives me an idea for my next pornographic film. ill call it "mondo pounds chihiro in the dressing room'" koizumi said  
"hwat" mondo said  
"whAT" chihiro said.  
k lol so then they explored the next floor. they found a pool, dressing rooms, a library (but nobody cared about the library becuz who cares about reading and writing thse days lolz le meme XD) and a moosic room.

"o shit it's the moosic room" maizono said as she went into the music room. it was a room with music. maizono went to turn on the radio. the hit song "we can't stop (unless you pay us a considerable sum of money)" by Sayaka Maizono played.  
"o das my jam" ke$ha said. maizono started twerking. ke$ha started twerking 2. then ke$ha passed out like the drunk ass bitch she is.

"o i hav an idea" maizono said. "what if we form an offishul hopes peak academy twerk team"  
"good idea" sakura said. "whos gonna be on our twerk team? i hope naegi is on our twerk team"  
"naegis ass is flatter than chihiros chest he wont be able 2 twerk with us" maizono said. sakura crie. ok so heres the list of all the ppl on the official hopes peak academy twerk team

Sayaka Maizono (team member name captain mileytwerk)  
Aoi Assahina (team member name swimmerdonuttits)  
Sakura Oogami (team member name mrs. whiteboytwerk)  
Ke$ha (team member name vice president bootyquake)  
Kiyotaka Ishimaru (team member name dr. phil)  
Mahiru Koizumi (team member name instagramshazam)

"wait why ishimaru he a boy guys cant twerk" mahiru asked.  
"no ishimaru has the biggest booty out of all of us of course he can twerk" maizono said  
"yea... no homo tho" ishimaru said.  
"why wasnt i included on the twerk team?" fukawa asked. lol she a dum bitch.  
"becuz fukawa shouldnt u be chasing togami or something" koizumi asked  
"lol no togami isnt in this story remember." fukawa said  
"o yea im sorry" koizumi said  
"so can i be on the twerk team"  
"no" koizumi said. fukawa ran out cryign. she really is a boring character without togami lol. maybe shell be some kind of serial killer or something idk. ok so now nicki minaj get on the announcements.

"ok gather in the gym i got a new motive for u guys to kill it's a good motive lol." okay so everybody walked up 2 the gym.

"so bitches todays motive is secrets. theres a deep dark secret i found out about each of u and if nobody dies im gonna reveal it to everyone else so that u can be judged. but im gonna go ahead and reveal the secrets to the readers because i dont want them 2 wonder wat the secrets r lol." everyone grabbed their slips of paper with their names on them. naegi read his secret first:

_**NAEGI HAS A SEXUAL FANTASY OF HAVING A 3 WAY IN AN AIRPLANE WITH MAIZONO AND ISHIMARU WHERE NAEGI'S DRESSED UP AS CATWOMAN**_

"o shit howd u find this out" naegi asked  
"because u talk in ur sleep" nicki said  
"o"

"AHHH. NO. NOBODY MUST KNOW THIS!" koizumi yelled. heres her secret:

_**KOIZUMI PREFERS FACEBOOK OVER INSTAGRAM**_

assahina read her secret next:

_**ASSAHINA'S BOOBS ARE FAKE**_

"...this isn't a secret its extremely obvious." assahina said.

"NO... NOOOOOO! THIS SECRET MUST NOT BE REVEALED. I CAN'T. TELL. ANYONE!" ishimaru screamed. here's his secret:

_**ISHIMARU IS GAY**_

"WHAAAAAT! THIS ISN'T TRUE! THIS ISN'T TRUE! APPLEJACK AND TWILIGHT SPARKLE KNOW THIS ISN'T TRUE!" yamada yelled. here's his secret:

_**YAMADA'S A BRONY**_

"G-GAH! MOMMY SAID IT WAS RATIONAL!" Mondo screamed. Here's his secret:

_**FOR SOME REASON, MONDO OOWADA HAS A HORRIBLE FEAR OF BUTTER**_

Lolita Rihanna sighed. "o shit" heres her secret:

_**LOLITA RIHANNA'S CURLY ASS PIGTAILS ARE WEAVE**_

"O NO NAEGI CANT LEARN ABOUT DIS" she said blushuuing at naegi. heres sakuras secret:

_**SAKURA OOGAMI WANTS THE D FROM NAEGI**_

"like... what. how dare u reveal this 2 the world" ke$ha said. here's ke$ha's secret:

_**KE$HA'S ACTUALLY AGAINST THE DRINKING OF ALCOHOL. HER BOTTLE OF JACK IS ACTUALLY JUST WATER.**_

ok so i'm to lazy to do both dialogue and secrets so here are the rest of the secrets and then we get to the joosy gossip.

_**LEON LIKES TO BE POUNDED HARD BY BALLS**_

_**CHIHIRO IS A MAN**_

_**FUKAWA WRITES ISHIMONDO YAOI FANFICTIONS IN HER SPARE TIME**_

_**CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, SAYAKA MILEY CYRUS MAIZONO IS ACTUALLY A WHITE WOMAN.**_

"im so scared nobody can find this out" fukawa said  
"i kno me 2" sakura said  
"guys back 2 my idea i think we should host our own official hopes peak academy prom" assahina said  
"good ass idea assahina. i dont see how that could possibruy go wrong" naegi said

(2 BE CONTINUE)

* * *

(SERIOUS AN: Okay so after I finish this fanfiction... would anybody possibly want me to make one of these for Super Dangan Ronpa 2? I'd gladly do so, but it'd be after this fic is completed)


	6. love found and lost 2 sad make you cry

so the members of hopes peaks official twerk team met in the moosic room. they were playing the hit song by Sayaka Miley Cyrus Maizono, "You wanna get with this? You better have exactly $5.23 cents and a piece of identificaton that proves you're of age to avoid any legal charges getting pressed against you," oh and btw wen the twerk team meets they go by their twerk team member names

"o dis my jam" captain mileytwerk said

"me 2" instagramshazam said

"it makes me want 2 twerk" swimmingdonuttits said

"me 2 no homo tho" dr phil said

"so who r u guys going 2 take 2 prom?" captain mileytwerk asked.

"i want 2 ask naegi-kun 2 prom" mrs whiteboytwerk said

"i want 2 ask naegi 2" maizono said.

"o shit i was gonna ask naegi" koizumi said "but then i forgot i was gay and then realized that i didnt like guys so i cant ask naegg"

"wait shit the narrator fucked up were supposed to use our titles during hte twerk tem meetingz" ke$ha sed. Yea i kno ke$ha but i got lazy it's 11 at night and i stayed up after taking sleeping medicine and im tired DONT FUCKIN JUDGE ME I CAN FEEL YOU FUCKIN JUDGING ME STAHP ITanyways, they were all trying 2 decide on who 2 ask 2 prom

"i wanna ask naegi kun" sakura said

"so do i" maizono said

"oh... I wa$ like... gonna a$k naegi 2 the prom 2." ke$ha said

"wait... so was i" assahina said

"oh no i was gonna ask naegi-chan to the prom 2. no homo tho." ishimaru said

"im gay" koizumi said.

and then suddenly everyone fight. except for koizumi. because koizumi 2 much of a pussy to fight lol. anyways, sayaka got her weave snatched out by ishimaru, and then assahina snatched ishimarus eyebrow weave out.

"AWW HELL NAW NOW LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE BITCH. YO STANK PUSSY ASS I KNOW DID NOT JUST TEAR OUT MY EYEBROW WEAVE." ishimaru yelled

"y do u even need eyebrow weave?" ke$ha asked.

"oh because without the eyebrow weave i cant look like im constipated 24/7" ishimaru said

"o is that y u always look constipated in literally every sprite you have in the game?" koizumi asked

"yea pretty much. no homo." ishimaru said

"o ok." koizumi said

"ok but what are we gona do now. we cant all ask out naegi" ke$ha suggested. then she passed out

"i say that i get to ask naegi to prom. ive known him since 3rd grade." maizono said twerking

"but he captured my heart the day we came here. and ive loved him ever sence." sakura said, blushing.

"... u realize we got here a few hours ago, rite?" ishimaru said

"o. but it feels like its been an eternity." sakura said.

then they all got into a fight about naegi again. that is, until assahina spoke up.

"ok guys why r we fighting over naegi he isn't even that cute anyways."

"ur right assahina" sakura said. "i want u"

"o bby" aoi said. then sakura and aoi make out. it was kawaaii. but ishimaru threw up because 2 girls kissuing.

"ok so who do i ask out" maizono sed.

"im gonna ask mondo or chihiro 2 prom. no homo tho."

"im gonna a$k, like yamada 2 prom" ke$ha said

"y wud u ask yamada 2 prom he ratchet" maizono said, twerkign

"becuz it feel better when they fat" ke$ha said.

"o" maizono said "ok ill ask naegi. i was gonna be his lov interest in the canon before leon penetrated me in the shower but whatever."

"lol and i swallowed poison 2 save my friends y wud i do that i dont care about any of u bitches besides my bootaful assahina."

"i want ur donuts sakura-chan... and by that i mean ur nip nips :3" assahina said

"did u just use the kitty face at me" sakura asked

"yea" asahina said

"im breakign up with u i cant be with some1 who uses the kitty face."

"omg no im crying so unromantic why wud u do this sakura" koizumi said. koizumi crie.

"dont talk 2 me im said" sakura sed. sakura crie and run off. assahina cri.

"sakura bby im so sorry pls dont leave me i love u 5ever u da 1" asahina still cri. lol it was a glasscase of emotion up in this bitch. ishimaru decide to go ask out mondo and chihiro.

"hey mondo do u want to take me to prom as ur date no homo tho" ishimaru said.

"mommy says that dating is bad" mondo said

"i dont give a shit what mommy said i want u to take me 2 prom" ishimaru said

"ill take u to prom ishimaru kun" chihiro sed.

"k thx chihiro" ishimaru sed

"o but mommy never said anything about a 3 way can we 3 way date pls guys" mondo asked

"yea. ok chihiro go away." ishimaru sed. chihiro cry.

they had just formed a 3 way relationship between ishimaru, mondo, and chihiro but they got rid of chihiro becuz they didnt want 2 date chihiro but it was still a 3 way relationship.

"i want u to ride me so hard u turn into butter" ishimaru said

"k" mondo said

_**VVVVVVVVVV WARNING THIS SCENE NSFW TURN BACK NOW IF U AT WORK CUZ NSWF 2 SEXUAL 2 SPOOKY RATED T FOR TURN BACK IF UR AT WORK DO IT NOW 2 DIRTY VVVVVVVVV**_

and then they fr*cked (no homo tho)

_**^^^^^^^^^^SCENE ABOVE IS 2 SEXUAL NSFW DONT READ THAT SCENE AT WORK ITS NSFW 2 DIRTY PLS DONT DO IT DONT GET FIRED BECUZ THAT SCENE 2 DIRTY^^^^^^^**_

(2 be continue)

* * *

(not serious an: omg this chapter kill me 2 write its 2 sad becuz sakurxassahina is my otp 4lyf i hate 2 see them break up like that it make me crie. plus i added som saucy ishimondo in there 2 so u kno it gud. but still sakuraoi my otp is broken up and it hurt 2 write. but what about the others. will the others get dates to hte prom? will sakur and assahiney get back 2 gether after that horrible breakup? find out soon on another speshul update of dangit ronpaul: a life of new hope!)


	7. special guest seyonji and prom stuff

"wow das da best s3x i've ever had" ishimaru said. "my but hurts"

"yea lol" mondo said

"no homo tho" ishimaru said

ok so now we go to maizono whos trying to ask naegg out.

"voulez vous rendez vous avec moi?" maizono asked

"maizono u dumb bitch i dont speak spanish" naegi said

"it was french" maizono sed

"o ok yea ill go out with u" naegi said. then they make out. then naeg realize

"since when u speak french" naegi asked?

"idk i dont need a reason im the japanese miley cyrus" maizono said

"o yea i guess thats true" naegi said

so then sakura was cryi. she was 2 sad about her and assahinas unfortunate breakup. she was sad becuz even tho they only wnt out 4 like 30 seconds it felt like a hole lifetiem.

"why r u bitch ass hos forgetting to use me in the story" fukawa asked the narrator. lol becuz fuckawa ur not important.

"but i survive the canon of course i'm important." shut up fukawa

"but im a survivor. im not gonna give up. im not gonna stop. im gonna work harder. im a survivor. im gonna make it. i will survive. keep on surviving." fukawa said, quoting a cheap song by destinys child.

"fuk u narrator im destinys childs number 1 fan" fukawa sed

now we go to koizumi. she sad because she dont have seyonji with her 2 take to prom :( :( :( :( but im a good ass narrator so im gonna be polite and put seyonji in the story just for the official hopes peak academy prom

"wow narrator i dont care what that creepy pasty white bitch fukawa says ur the best narrator ever" koizumi said. then seyonji appared.

_**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL TRADITIONAL JAPANESE TWERK MASTER- HIYOKO SEYONJI**_

"what the hell i was out corrupting the youth of society and now im here" seyonji yelled.

"seyonji its me koizumi" koizumi sed

"o yea hey koizumi" then koizumi and seyonji make out and hav soapies 3gether.

now we go back 2 sakura and assahina becus fukawa interrupt me lol dumb bitch who the fuck does she think she is. anyways she was 2 sad about her and assahinas unfortunate breakup. she was sad becuz even tho they only wnt out 4 like 30 seconds it felt like a hole lifetiem.

"im so sad over assahina" sakura said. she was so sad over assahina

"my name isnt even assahina its asahina theres a difference yo" shut the fuck up assahina lol anyways assahina was sad. she was so sad over sakura

"im so sad over sakura" assahina said. she was so sad over sakura. it was 2 sad and narrator crie while reading this. so then assahina walk up 2 sakura.

"sakura im going 2 stop using kitty face just 4 u" assahina sed

"ok bby i luv u" sakura sed. then they make out. it was so romanti

ke$ha went 2 ask out yamada

"hey yamada do u want 2 go out with me"

"no i only go out with my little pony characters" he said as he hugged his lyra doll. he didnt know why that lyra doll caused so much controversy among the community it felt great.

"ok if u go out with me ill give u a my little pony button wen we get out of here" ke$ha said

"sold" yamada sed. then him and ke$ha make out.

Leon decided 2 ask maizono 2 the prom.

"hey maizon do u want 2 go to prom with me?" leon asked. maizono was twerking and making out with naegi.

"back off loen maizonos my man" naegi said

"thats it lets go" leon said

then naegi and leon fight while maizono scream. lolita rihanna came running in

"what the fuck is going on i was busy patting my weave and then i herd screaming oh shit naegi and loen are fighting i gotta warn the others before some 1 dies" lolita rihanna sed and then she run down the stairs and trips because she was wearing 8 inch heels lol dumb bitch

"lolita rihanna r u ok?" fukawa asked

"shouldn't u be chasing togami?" lolita rihanna asked

"no togami isnt in this story remember?" fukawa asked

"o" lolita rihanna said.

"yea" fukawa sed

"u want 2 go 2 prom?" fukawa asked lolita rihanna

"shouldnt u ask togami?" lolita rihanna asked

"no togami isnt in this story remember?" fukawa sed

"o" lolita rihanna said

"yea" fukawa sed

"my coochie hurts can u help me up i cant get up because of this ugly ass dress can u help me?" lolita rihanna was right... that is an ugly ass dress.

Then the wonderful voice of nicki minaj boomed over the intercom. "ok time 4 prom bitches the prom is going 2 be in the cafeteria. some refreshments there will be some moldy ass cheese, some nasty ass sandwhiches, and alcoholic dog pee."

then every 1 gather in the gym 4 prom.

(2 BE CONTINUE)

* * *

(Serious AN: For the record if you don't know what Lyra plushie I meant when Ke$ha asked out Yamada... Good. But if you want to know... Just look up "Lyra Plushie." on Know Your Meme... I guarantee you won't be disappointed... Just freaked out)


	8. fukawa ruins the investigation

(not a serious an: o wow guize thanx for all the nice reviews on hte story! i try to do daly updates but sometime it just doesnt work out because it takes hours on end 2 type. xoxoxo ily all xcept the h9ers lol. so in dis chapter things are finna change around

and 2 answer ur question i get my inspiration from all hte wondeful fanz such as ur self. plus the pure love i have 4 my otps; ke$ha x Yamada, Ishimaru x Mondo, Sakure x Naegi, Sakura x Assahina, Naegi x Maizono, Maizono x Loen, and Yamada x Lyra Plushie. i hope dat answers ur question xoxoxo)

* * *

ok so now the btiches were at prom and they were all romantically twerking 2gether it was 2 romantic 3 but leon was sad :( becuz he didnt have a date 2 prom

"im so sad becuz i dont have a date 2 the prom." leon said. lolita rihanna walked up 2 leon

"hey leon r u sad because you dont have a date 2 the prom?" lolita rihanna asked

"yea. im sad because i dont have a date 2 the prom" leon said. he was sad because he didnt have a date 2 hte prom

"ok if u want 2 date maizono... knock naegi out of hte competition... u get what i mean?" lolita rihanna sed winking at loen

"ok yea i'll murder naegi" leon sed as he went 2 murder naegi

"ok lol... o shit no leon i meant sing a romantic song to maizono oh fuck oh fuck." it was 2 late. loen had walked away

ok so loen then went to turn the lights off 2 murder naegi. but since naegis protag he aint gonna die. okay. everyone was scrambling around trying to find the light switch... then they heard screaming.

"o shit wrong person" a voice called out. then they heard the voice of somebody else screaming.

finally maizono found the light switch... and when she turned the lights on... everyone screamed... Loen Kuwata and Hifumi Yamada were dead :(

"shit yamada and kuwata spilled the pepto bismol" ishimaru said

"no i think somebody murdered them" maizono sed.

"i cant believe it's day 1 and 4 people have already died" koizumi said.

then they heard the voice of nicki minaj booming over the intercom. "ok bitches so a dead body has been found. imma let yall investigate and then we gather in the small ass elevator... wait holy shit 2 people died. ok. yea. so were going 2 be mass debating soon.

"ok who killed them" naegi asked

"idk as naegi" queeriqueeri said

"bitch u dead" naegi said

"o" queeriqueeri said

"okay anyways who killed kuwata and yamada?" maizono asked.

"idk ask naegi" naegi said

"naegi ur naegi u dumb" fukawa said

"OKAY LISTEN HERE FUCKAWA I AM GETTING SICK OF YOUR SHIT. FIRST OF ALL LOSE THE BRAIDED PIGTAILS BECAUSE YOU THINK THAT U LOOK CUTE WITH THEM BUT YOU JUST LOOK LIKE A NERDY ASS BITCH THAT CAN'T GET NO DICK. SPEAKING OF WHICH DO YOU HAVE A DICK BECAUSE IF YOU DO I IMAGINE THAT IT'D BE AS BIG AS YOUR EGO WHICH IS REALLY DAMN BIG. DAMN YOU AIN'T EVEN A GOOD CHARACTER EVERYONE PREFERS THAT PASTY SERIAL KILLER BITCH GENOCIDER HOE OR WHATEVER BECAUSE ALL YOUR FUCKING CHARACTER IS IS "TOGAMI SAMA BYAKUYA SAMA DON'T CORRECT MY WHITE KNIGHT TOGAMI BBY U DA 1 I WANT UR TOGAMI'S INSIDE MY TOUKO" AND YOU'RE SITTING HERE THINKING YOU'RE A GOOD CHARACTER? AND YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO CALL ME DUMB? HELL NO IT DON'T WORK LIKE THAT AND THEN. AND WHAT'S WITH YO FACE YOU LOOK LIKE YOU GOT SOME BLUE WAFFLE ON YOUR FORHEAD IT'S CALLED PROACTIVE YOU SHOULD USE IT, OH WAIT, YOU DON'T EVEN GET ACTIVE BECAUSE YOU'RE A FAT LAZY BITCH WHO SITS THERE AND WATCHES SOME FUCKING GHETTO DRAMAS ALL DAY. AND WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT PURPLE ASS WEAVE OF YOURS? DO YOU THINK YOU IS MAJESTIC BITCH? IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAD A BLUE PERIOD MIXED IN WITH SOME OF THIS GAY ASS PINK BLOOD. IT'S CALLED DOUCHE YOU SHOULD USE IT SOMETIMES BECAUSE EVERYTIME YOU BE OPENEN YO' LEGS ALL WE BE SMELLING IS SKUNK. AND NOT THE GOOD KIND THAT SMELL LIKE WEED, I'M TALKIN ABOUT THE BAD STUFF LIKE ROTTON EGGS AND SMELLY SOCKS. SPEAKING OF SMELLY IT'S CALLED A WEAVE CHANGE BITCH YOU SHOULD REALLY CONSIDER GETTING ONE. WEAVES IS ONLY MEANT TO LAST FO' 2 WEEKS NOT 2 MOTHA FUCKING CENTURIES I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF I FOUND SOME FUCKING DINOSAURUS REX BONES BECAUSE YO WEAVE IS THAT OLD YOU CAN SEE ALL DA DAMN COCKROACHES UP IN THAT STUPID PURPLE ASS WEAVE. YOU NEED SOMETHING THAT MAKE YOU LOOK NATURAL LIKE BROWN OR BLACK, OR EVEN A DARK PURPLE. AND WHO THE HELL IS THAT BYAKUYA SAMA BITCH ANYWAYS BECAUSE THE WAY YOU MAKING IT SOUND, YOU MAKING IT SOUND LIKE SHE MO' RATCHET THEN YOU WHICH I DOUBT BECAUSE YOU IS SO DAMN RATCHET NOT EVEN CLANKS METAL ASS CAN COME ALONG AND FIX YOU. AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THOSE RATCHET ASS GLASSES OF YOURS. YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE WEARING A PAIR OF ASSAHINA'S DOUNUTS. WHY THE FUCK IS YOU DOING THAT OKAY, DO YOU THINK YOU CUTE BECAUSE YOU'RE TRYING TO KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR SELENER? YOU LOOK LIKE YOU TRYNA SCARE THE MENS AWAY AND IT'S FUCKING WORKING. AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED OF YOUR STUPID ASS CLOTHES, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU IS? AMBERCOMBIE AND BITCH? DAYUM THAT DRESS LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING THEY'D WEAR IN THE 1630'S WHICH I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY WORE BACK THEN BECAUSE I FAILED HISTORY BUT THAT ISN'T THE FUCKING POINT. THE POINT IS YOU BETTER CHECK YOSELF BEFORE CALLING ME STUPID. BECAUSE NEXT TIME YOU TRY TO CALL ME DUMB I WILL OWN YOU BETTER THAN CHIHIRO OWNS ALL HIS HOES. STANK PUSSY HOE. LOOKIN LIKE YOU GOT A BLUE CORNDOG SHOVED UP YO ASSHOLE."

then nicki minajs voice boomed over the intercom.

"lol okay bitches time to go to the small ass elevator for the school trial." nicki said

"oh shit i was too busy owning fukawa to gather evidence... we all gonna die." naegi said

(2 BE CONTINUE...)


	9. class trial 2: kesha why :( :( :(

(not srs an: ok so time 4 the second school trial. lets see who killed yamada and leon.

ps. guys go read Dokosu's fanfic _Naegi and Fukawa _its so good its got romance drama suspence and hot yaois go read now)

* * *

ok so everyone fit into the tiny ass elevator. and i mean this elevator was tiny as fuck. tinier than mukuro ikusabas titties.

"wow this elevator is 2 small" naegi said

"shut the fuck up i ain't finna waste my money on this cheap ass school anyways" nicki minaj said

"ok so i did some investigating" lolita rihanna sed. "this murder has all the characteristics of Genocider Hoe."

maizono shuttered. "u mean da infamous serial killer whos killed over 7 people?"

"yea that one" lolita rihanna sed

"2spooky" maizono sed.

"basically stabbing in hte dark, 2 victims, a dying message that says "ke$ha killed me," it's all signs of what genocider hoe does" lolita rihanna

"o fuck u sayin genocider hoe did this?" fukawa asked

"yea" lolita rihanna said

"why genocider hoe?" fukawa asked, then she grew her tongue and dick out 2 be over 8845349495 feet long.

"hey i'm genocider hoe" genocider hoe said

"oh hey genocider hoe" maizono said, twerking

"*insert comment about assahina's boobs here*" genocider hoe said

"hey das mean" assahina said

"don't make fun of assahina like that" sakura said

"can we ples get out of this tiny ass elevator pls?" naegi asked. ok so then they went 2 court.

"aight i dont feel like explainin shit so start the debate"

NONSTOP DEBATE

mondo: ok so genocider hoe killed yamada and loen

ishimaru: yea she did... no homo

chihiro: agred

naegi: U GOT HTE WROGN!

END NONSTOP DEBATE

"ishimaru u say no homo... but u took mondo 2 prom and fucked him in the punch bowl... and you fucked on the dance floor... and in yamadas neck fat" naegi sed

"yea its not gay because we said no homo" ishimaru said

"o" naegi said

"ok so genocider hoe killed yamada and loen?" sakura asked

"yea" naegi said

"no i didnt" genocider hoe said

"o shit who the culprit be now?" ke$ha asked

"were fucked" genocider hoe said

"wait i hav an accusation" naegi said

**MAKE AN ACCUSATION**

**MAKOTO NAEGI**  
**CHIHIRO FUJISAKI**  
**MONDO OOWADA**  
**KE$HA**  
KYOQUISHA QUEERIQUEERI  
**AOI ASSAHINA**  
**SAKURA OOGAMI**  
YASUHIRO HAGAKURE  
**LOLITA RIHANNA**  
**MILEY CYRUS "SAYAKA" MAIZONO**  
HIFUMI YAMADA  
POUNDED BY BALLS "LOEN" KUWATA  
**MAHIRU KOIZUMI**  
**KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU**  
**TOUKO FUKAWA**

"wait why isnt togami on this list i was gonna accuse him" nagi aked

"togami isnt in this story remember" fukawa said

"oh right... ill accuse someone else" naegi said

**MAKE AN ACCUSATION**

**MAKOTO NAEGI**  
**CHIHIRO FUJISAKI**  
**MONDO OOWADA**  
**KE$HA**  
KYOQUISHA QUEERIQUEERI  
**AOI ASSAHINA**  
**SAKURA OOGAMI**  
YASUHIRO HAGAKURE  
=-=-=-**LOLITA RIHANNA-=-=-=**  
**MILEY CYRUS "SAYAKA" MAIZONO**  
HIFUMI YAMADA  
POUNDED BY BALLS "LOEN" KUWATA  
**MAHIRU KOIZUMI**  
**KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU**  
**TOUKO FUKAWA**

**Naegi: IT CLOUD OLNY BE U!**

"lolita rihanna we know genocider ho didnt do it so u had to have done it" naegi said

"wow so just because i killed yamada in the canon means i had 2 have done it in this story 2 thats low naegi" lolita rihanna said

"o im sorry. so did u kill yamada this time?" naegi sked

"lmao yea i did" lolita rihanna said

"ok so u admit 2 killing loen and yamada?" naegi asked.

"yea pretty much. it was ke$has idea 2 kill yamada tho" lolita rihanna sed

"o $hit lolita rihanna y u betray me like thi$?" ke$ha asked lolita rihanna

"becuz poor loen ended up dying instead" lolita rihanna sed

"wait so u didnt mean 2 kill loen?" maizono asked while twerking

"no. ke$ha told me 2 kill yamada but i accidentally killed loen instead. then i stabbed yamada. but the thing is he had so much body fat that the stab didnt do anything so i showed him my tits and he died from the awesomeness." lolita rihanna said.

"wow so ke$ha was the mastermind behind this whole plot?" naegi asked

"yea pretty much" lolita rihanna said

"ok so for all u dum bitches out there who dont understand the intelligintness of this murder heres how it happened" naegi said

**CLIMAX INFERENCE**

"ok so we were at prom and ke$ha told lolita rihanna 2 kill yamada. so lolita rihanna went 2 do it... but stabbed loen instead. so then she went 2 kill yamada... but he was so fat that the knife didnt penetrate through all his fat layers. so lolita showed him her tits and he died 2 death. and the mastermind behind all this was ke$ha"

**END CLIMAX INFERENCE**

"MUAHAHAHAHA-" ke$ha passed out.

assahina cry "why did u want 2 kill yamada?"

"becuz i offered him an mlp button and i needed a way 2 get out of giving it 2 him," ke$ha said. "$o i had lolita rihanna kill him" ke$ha said

"ok time 2 vote"

**KE$HA: GUILTY!**

"yea lolita rihanna killed yamada and loen but it was ke$ha so were gonna execute her instead" nicki minaj said

"wh" ke$ha said

_**GAME OVER**_

_**KE$HA HA$ BEEN FOUND GUILTY**_

_**$TARTING THE $UPER $PECIAL EXECUTION**_

_**KE$HA EXECUTION: KE$HA'$ $UPER $PECIAL BOTTLE OF JACK**_

so ke$ha gets sucked into nicki minaj's coochie which turns out 2 be a blender and black hole. then nicki puts the ground up remains in a bottle of jack.

**END EXECUTION**

"o" maizono said

"o" naegi said

"wow getting sucked up into a vagina thats how i want 2 go" chihiro sed

then every 1 mourn the loss of ke$ha

**(2 BE CONTINUE...)**


	10. ugly dresses and sad drama

now after the trial and ke$ha's burtal execution ever1 was sad.

"im so sad that ke$has dead" naegi said.

"wow naeg im sad over loen that was my 1 chance 2 have a 3 way and now its ruined" maizono said while twerking.

"what about the twerk team tho now were 1 member short" assahina asked

"i'll join" fukawa sed

"no fuckawa" maizono sed.

"what about if i join" lolita rihanna asked

"ok yea lolita rihanna your hopes peak twerk team name is officially vice president lolitass shake." maezono said

"yay" lolita rihanna said. fukawa crie.

"ok now what there are some new rooms should we explor them?" ishimaru asked

mondo sighed "that sounds like a lot of work."

"ok then lets not explor." then they all exlpored. they found an auditorium and a fun room with hot ishimondo and sakuraoi xxx magazines.

"ok guys i hav an idea." assahina siad

"assahina 5 people have died because of your shitty ass ideas pls dont suggest another one" nagi said

"aww" assahina crie

"i say we murder assahina so she doesnt present a shitty ass idea" sakura sed

"i second the motion" naegi sed

"sakura ur her girlfrien trying 2 kill her?" maizono asked

"becuz... i still love naegg" sakura said. aoi crie

"sakura-chan how cud u say dat after all weave been thru?" assahina yelled in all lower caps. "im breakign up with u" then aoi ran off cry

"assahina bby no wait!" sakura cried. den she chased after assahina.

"wow this is awkward" maizono said 2 naegggggggggg. "u wanna fuqq?" she asked him.

"yea" naegi said

**VVVV WARNING SCENE BELOW NSFW 2SPOOKY DO NOT RED ITS 2 DIRTY 4 WORK U GET FIRED IF U READ IT DO NOT READ SCENE BELOW VVVVvvvVVVV**

and then they fr*cked

**^^^^SECE ABOVE 2 DIRTY DO NOT READ WOW 2 DIRTY 4 WORK OR SCHOOL GIVE U NIGHTMARES 2 SPOOKY YO OMFG DONT READ DAT SCENE^^^^**

so then lolita rihanna and chihiro fujisak were hanging out. they became friends becuz they both were wearing sum ugly ass dresses. these dresses are uglier than yamada they were so ugly. those dresses were so ugly they looked like nicki minajs coochie on a friday night.

"wow so were u buy ur ugly ass dress at?" lolita rihanna asked

"goodwill. you?" chihiro sed

"da hallowen stor. ive had this ugly ass dress for over 6 years. i havent taken it off since." lolita rihanna sed

"yea. wow thats an ugly ass dress" chihiro sed

"thanx" lolita rihanna responded.

"guys i hav an ugly ass dress 2" fukawa said

"GURRRRRRRLLLLLL!" lolita rihanna screamed

"GURRRRRRRLLLLLL!" chihiro said. and then all 3 of them started talking about their ugly ass dresses. so anyways i wonder whats up with ishimaru and mondo... why the fuck am i even asking that u already kno they be fuckin. i wonder whats goin on with lolita rihanna

"bitch did u not even see what was going on all 3 of us are talking about our ugly ass dresses," lolita rihanna told the narrator. dum bitch

"fuk u narrator" lolita rihanna said

ok wow we need a new character or something because there really aint shit going on. ishimaru and mondo be fucking. maizono and naegi be fucking. chihiro fuckawa and lolita rihanna are talking about ugly ass dresses. Ke$ha's dead. Assahina and Sakura r broken up :( and Togami isn't in this story. so what the fuck am i supposed 2 do?

"hey guys i have an idea" assahina said. "since theres an auditorium what if we make a play"

"o yea romello and julisha is my favorite play written by swagspeare" lolita rihanna sed.

"can i be julisha" chihiro asked

"yea because julisha needs 2 be played by a beautiful woman" lolita rihanna said

"whos gonna play romello?" maizono asked while twerking

"i will" koizumi said

"ok wow this play is gonna be so great romello and julisha is so sad." ishimaru said

"2 bad ke$ha can't be here to sii it :(" assahina said. then sakura crie.

"sakura y do u cry all hte time?" naegi asked

"becuz im an emotional trainwreck... plus i hvent had sex in over 2 hours im so sex deprived omf"

"i can fix that" assahina said

"but arent we broken up right now?" sakura sked

"o yea"

"ok yea lets do a play every1 go get in costume because thsi is gonna be a good play" koizumi said

(2 BE CONTINUE)


	11. a great impression of sakura oogami

wow ok so every1 gathered in the auditorium to watch "THE DANGIT RON PAUL CAST PRESENTS: ROMELLO AND JULISHA, A PLAE WRITTEN BY WILLIAM SWAGSPEARE"

"o shit we didnt practice our lines" koizumi said

"were gonna fuckin suck at this play" chihiro said

"wait aren't those other assholes watching us?" koizumi said atop the big ass castle.

"yea" the assholes in the audience said

"mommy says that assholes is a bad word" mondo says

"ok lol so how do we do this?" koizumi asked

"can I be benvolante'?" maizono asked while making out with naegi, twerking, and diffusing a time bomb.

"no bitch we already got this play planned out" koizumi said

"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW BUT WHYYYYYYY :(" maizono said while twerking.

"because i just explainded it" koizumi said

"oh" maizono said

"wow this is a stupid ass play no homo" ishimaru said

"why the fuck are you saying no homo that wasnt even a reference to anything that might sound slightly homosexual." lolita rihanna said. "no homo tho"

"o im sorry lolita rihanna i just dont want ppls 2 think im ghey" ishimaru said

"but u did the do with mondo throughout prom. dat makes u gay" lolita rihanna siad

"lol no lolita rihan just because i like guys and like 2 fuqq with mondo doesnt make me gay" ishimaru said

"yea it does" lolita rihanna said

"CAN YOU BITCHES SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M TRYING TO WATCH THIS ROMANTIC ASS PLAY!" nicki minaj yelled.

"romello, o romello, why are u named romello? because that makes us enemies." chihiro said

"what the fuck do you mean julish im named romello because my parents wanted to fuckin name me romello you dumb bitch why the fuck else would i be named romello you fucking bitch ass hoe. why do i even kill my self over you in the end of this play wow we were only together for 3 days how could we have even been in love? we were fuckin separated for pretty much all the damn play and then suddenly romellos like 'lolololol she ded im ded 2" then he die and then julisha wasnt dead and shes like 'oh lol he dead i used 2 be ded bye' and then she dies what the fuck is with this play omfg." koizumi said

"wow dis play is so romantic 3" assahina said. "it reminds me of sakura"

"wow so i killed myself in canon and just because romello and julisha comits suicide that means it reminds you of me" sakura sed

"no not that its just so romantic" assaina said

"o. yea i miss u 2 assahina." then sakura and assahina make out. dhey got back 2gethe :) :) :) :) :)

so den da play contine on. now were 2 romello and julishas death scene.

"o shit julisha ur ded :(" romello sed as he looked at julishas ded body. he pulls out hte poison. "lol look julisha at my sakura oogami impression" and then he drank hte poison. romello falls. then julisha wakes up.

"wow that was a good sakura oogami impression o shit ur ded. that's the 3rd time this has happened this week i should seriously start dating better men." and then julisha trips because julisha wears 19 inch high heels and accidentally stabs herself in hte hart with the dagger.

"o shit" julisha sez and then julisha dies. And then thats the end of the play. everyone twerks to show approval. chihiro and koizumi bow as they get off the stage.

"ok what now" koizumi asks

"i want 2 sing a song for my 1 true luv mondo oowada" ishimaru sed

"aww so kawaii" maizono sed.

"gay" koizumi said

"koizumi arent u gay?" lolita rihanna asked

"yea but haha ishimarus gey" koizumi said.

"ok heres my song." ishimar got on stage. he sings

"I'LL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU... WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU!" ishimaru sang.

and then suddenly hte lights turn off. and when they come back on mondo oowada is dead :(

"o shit bby no" ishimaru said. ishimaru crie.

"...sakure u were right remind me never to come up with shitty ideas again 2 many ppl dying." assahina said

then nicki minajs voice could be herd over the intercom. "ok bitches a dead body has been found. time 2 investigate. then we can go 2 court 2 mass debate."

ishimar was crying so hard.

"poor ishimar" assahina sed.

"wow why mondo" lolita rihanna sked.

"im shocked i didnt die yet im not even an dr1 character" koizumi said.

"ok lets investigate" maizono said while twerking.

"hm... looks like hes been hit in the head with "justice hammer number 11037" sakura said

"11037... what does it mean?" maizono asked.

"2spooky" naegi said

"augh i cant believe this why mondo oowada he was so fun and censorship and whhhyyyyyyyyyyy!" assahina started crying

"so he was hit in the head with a hammer?" lolita rihanna asked.

"yea" naegi said

"wow" lolita rihanna sed

"i hope genocider ho didnt do this if so im fucked i dont want 2 die" fukawa said

"lol dont worry i didnt" genocider hoe said.

"o ok thanx serial killer lady that we can rlly honestly truly trust :)" naegi said with a huge smile

"can we execute assahina this stupid ass play was her idea nywasy" koizumi said.

"no dont execute me i like donuts, swimming, sakura oogami, cupcakes, muffins and satan im an important character."

"o" koizumi said. then maizono gasp. she realize somethign.

"wait... 11037... when you flip it around and diagonally connect the 1's... it spells chihiro fujisaki." maizono said

"wow i cant believe chihiro fujisaki killed mondo oowada..." fukawa said.

"chihiro r u the killer?" maizono asked

"bitch i might be" fujisaki said.

"o shit why chihiro. y u kill my man like that?" ishimaru asked while crying.

"ok lol time 4 court go 2 the small ass elevators for hte trialz"

"ooh mondo bby ill make sure that ur killer wont get away with this" then ishimaru crie. everyone went 2 the small ass elevators.

(2 BE CONTINUE...)

* * *

(SERIOUS AN: Okay I'm really sorry about making fun of Romeo and Juliet and Sakura Oogami. I actually like Romeo and Juliet as a play, and Sakura is one of my favorite characters. It doesn't help but still omfg)

(not srs an: wow dis chapter hurt 2 write it was so sad and it hurt my feelignz because i had 2 break up ishimondo /3 /2 /3 but it makez 4 sum gud drama. so who do u think killed monod? be sure 2 let me kno. i want 2 see what all ym fanz think.)


	12. class trial 3: chihiro was framed

so she loked at him. he was 2 cute. and then they fricked in the booty. he was like damn gurl. your booty be finee. and thn he asked her "r u into anal sex?"

"yea bend over" she said in a deep manly voice.

o shit this is that dr fic of mine not some cheap romance fic im writing. my bad.

so for the third time 2day it was time 4 court. they all wnt into the tiny ass elevator. yea, the tiny ass elevator that was tinier than mukuro ikusabas titties. which is small

"ok wow so 6 people have died in a single day what the fuck" maizono said while twerking

"i know. me and my shitty ass ideas." assahina said.

"i still cant believe ke$has dead" fukawa said

"my yaoi tho hes dead who killed him" mondo asked. wait shit i meant ishimaru im jus 2 lazy 2 change it lmfaoooooo

"bitch u talk about ur yaoi all the damn time shut the fuck up" chihiro said

"chihiro theres clear evidence that u killed mondo the 11037 proved it. just give up." naegi said.

"wow naegi ur so smart i want u to wear my coochie like a candy necklace" maizono said

"k" naegi said as he went to hit dat

"guys not now were in the small ass elevator we don't need the semml of s3x 2 fill up the area." fukawa said.

"sex in the air i don't care i love the smell of it. sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me." lolita rihanna said.

"shut the fuck up lolita rihanna we all know ur real name is celestia ludenberg ur not fooling anyone" ishimaru said

"actually is taeko yasuhiro lmfao but HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW THAT?!"

"u hav a nametag on" ishimaru said

"o fuck" lolita rihanna said. well now that her real name is revealed ill call her celestia ludenberg... what the fuck am i talking about no i wont. lolita rihanna sighed.

"now my secrets out :("

"wow why is this elevator taking so long 2 take us 2 court?" maizono asked while twerking

"im rlly sorry its just that i set these courtrooms up underground and we have 2 go down a lot in order 2 get there." nicki minaj said.

"y r u making us do this?" ishimaru asked.

"because its funny as fuck lmfao" nicki minaj said

"o" ishimaru said

"yea lol" nicki said. "o look were here :)" nicki said

then every1 went 2 court.

"ok so here r the rules. u must find out who killed mondo. if u do, then only the killer will die. but if u choose wrong then u all will die and the killer will walk free lollllllll XD meme" nicki said.

"ok so we know who killed mondo. it was chihiro fujisaki" naegi said.

"no i didnt" chihiro sed.'

"well fuck. now what. we dont know who killed mondo" naegi said.

ishimaru crie. "we cant find out who killed my bby. i cant believe this" and then fukawas weave fell out.

"o i mean i cant beweave this" ishimaru said

NONSTOP DEBATE BEGIN

assahina: wait when the fuck did we get in court im sorry im high as fuck right now.

maizono: wait how r u high the only person who could supply us with weed was lady hgagakure and he dead

assahina: o yea actually i smoked his hair. that shitll fuck you up

maizono: u bitch why the fuck didnt u give me some

assahina: bitch im high as fuck i smoked all of hagakures hair

naegi: wow this debate isnt getting us anywhere

BREAK!

"naeg what u mean by dis we getting somewhere. we found out that assahinas a fucking liar" maizono sed

"wow i kno who murdered mondo and ur gonna call me a liar now im not gonna tell u" assahina said

"if u tell us ill give you a half off coupon to dunkin donuts" assahina scream

"ok yea lolita rihanna killed mondo" assahina said. "now weres my coupon?"

"o yea i was lying about that lmfao" naegi said.

"bitch" assahina said.

"ok so then does this mean lolita rihanna killed mondo?" chihiro asked

"pretty much lmfao" lolita rihanna said. ishimaru crie

"u bitch y u kill my yaoi" he asked

"o becuz i have a dream. i want 2 live in a big ass bouncy castle where men dressed up as Sebastian from black butler take turns riding me like a mechanical bull. i cant accomplish that when im stuck in this school."

"wow so there's been like 6 deaths and lolita rihanna has caused most of those"

"yea i caused all the deaths except 4 hagakure and queeriqueeri lmfao" lolita rihanna said

"how could u lmfao at this this is nothing 2 lmafo at" ishimaru said.

"ishimaru if its any consolation since mondo isnt around u can always put it in my butt!" chihiro said. thirsty ass bitch

"lol no chihiro" ishimaru sed

"ok heres how it happened" naegi said

CLIMAX INFERENCE BEGIN

"ok so yea when the lights went off, lolita rihanna went 2 grab a hammer. Hammer 11037. It was an attempt 2 blame fujisaki for murder :( wait did i just say fujisaki i mean chihiro o well. anyways, then she turned the lights off. assahina saw lolita rihanna turn the lights off tho. and then lolita rihanna hit mondo with justice hammer 11037. and thats how it happened." naegi said

CLIMAX INFERENCE END

"yea pretty much exactly what happened" lolita rihanna said

"ok time 2 vote"

**LOLITA RIHANNA: GUILTY!**

"yea thats right lolita rihanna is a guilty bitch" nicki said

"no lolita rihanna why" ishimaru said

"bitch i just told u" lolita rihanna sed

"ok now its time 4 execution" nicki minaj said

"wh" lolita rihanna said

_**GAME OVER**_

_**LOLITA RIHANNA HAS BEEN FOUND GUILTY**_

_**COMMENCING EXECUTION**_

_**LOLITA RIHANNA EXECUTION: A VERSAILLES STYLE WITCH BURNING WITHOUT ALL OF THE FIRE AND OTHER USELESS SHIT.**_

so lolita rihanna looks around the court. every1 stares at her. and then a fire truck falls on lolita rihanna and executes her.

"oh" naegi said

"wow" chihiro said

"yea" nicki minaj said

"wait wasnt there supposed 2 be fire in her execution?" sakura asked

"yea but im a cheap mother fucker do u have any idea how much fire costs?" nicki asks

"couldn't u just get togami to buy it?" fukawa askes

"no togami isnt in this story remember?" nicki minaj said

"oh" fukawa said

"well at least i kno who killed my bby" ishimaru said. "im so sad tho"

(2 BE CONTINUE)


	13. alter eggo and ishimondo

(not srs an: YO TAYLOR IT'S ME RYAN FROM EPICMAFIA U LOVE DIS FIC SO ILY 5EVER 2 2 2)

* * *

the school trial was over, ishimaru was sad. sad because his yaoi was dead :(

"im so sad because my yaoi is dead" ishimaru said.

"hey ishimaru are you sad because your yaoi is dead?" koizumi asked ishimaru.

"yea. im sad because my yaoi is dead" ishimaru said. he was sad because his yaoi was dead

"well... i hav a story. one time my pet bunny died. and i was so sad because my bunny died. so after putting pictures of my dead bunny on instagram, and posting a long rant about how sad I was on facebook, twitter, pintrest, tumblr, and on the schools website, my mom sang me a song. it cheered me up because of how happy it was." koizumi said

"o ok whats the song?"

koizumi cleared her throat. suddenly loud music came from nowhere. koizumi sings "Bitches ain't shit, and they ain't sayin' nuthin'  
A hundred muthafuckas can't tell me nuthin'  
I beez in the trap, bee, beez in the trap  
I beez in the trap, bee, beez in the trap

Bitches ain't shit, and they ain't sayin' nuthin'  
A hundred muthafuckas can't tell me nuthin'  
I beez in the trap, bee, beez in the trap  
I beez in the trap, bee, beez in the trap."

ishimaru sniffed. "wow that did cheer me up... thank u koizumi." ishimaru said.

"yea k ur welcome" koizumi said. then maizono ran in hte room.

"guys i think chihiro found a way 2 help us escape come join us" she said

"k" koizumi said

"k" ishimaru said. then they all ran into the shower rooms.

everybody was staring happily at a waffle. ishimaru and koizumi looked over at the waffle. it had fujisaki's face on it.

"k hi im alter eggo" alter eggo said.

"fujisaki wtf is this shit?" ishimaru asked.

"thats alter eggo. i was working on him when we came to school and now hes ready 2 be used." chihiro said.

"how the fuck can that help us escape the school?" ishimaru asked

"it can distract nicki minaj with its deliciousness in enough time 4 us 2 escape. oh and it can also take on the face of everyon1 at the school"

"o. can it take on the face of mondo? i want 2 see my yaoi... just 1 last time :(" ishimaru said. then alter ego took on the face of mondo.

"ishimaru u lil bitch im fucking dead get the fuck over it geez why didnt i break up with you u cry so much geez and stop saying no homo u kno u homo u bitch fuck you gdi if this is what i was gonna marry im pretty glad im dead idk wtf i even saw in you aight im done peace out bitchez #u2homo." alter eggo said as mondo. ishimaru cri

"wow that was so inspirational thank u yoai." ishimaru said. "wow ok i feel kind of weird like not overly weird but that kind of weird thatsAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" ISHIMARU SCREAMED. HE SCREAMED SO LOUD THAT THE TEXT AFTER IT TURNED INTO ALL CAPS.

"I AM NO LONGER KIYOTAKA NOHOMO ISHIMARU!" he yelled

"wow ishimarus middle name was nohomo why the fuck am i not suprised?" togami said wait no hes not in the story i mean naegi said.

"I AM A COMBINATION OF ISHIMARU AND MONDO OOWADA... I AM... ISHIMONDO!" ishimondo yelled. now ishimarus hair was white and so were his bushy ass eyebrows.

"did that nigga just go super saiyan?" alter eggo asked.

"yea he did lmfao hes gay" naegi said

"NOW IM GOING TO GO DO SOME ISHIMONDO THINGS!" Ishimondo yelled. then he stripped naked and started running throughout the school.

"i cant believe ishimaru ran in the hallways" chihiro said.

"i can't either" queeriqueeri said.

"bitch u dead" naegi said.

"o right" queeriqueeri said and then she disappeared.

"this chapter is completely ignoring me wtf." fukawa said.

"hey naegi i want u 2 ride me so hard u turn into butter." maizono said.

"ok but later" naegi said

"ps im scared switch rooms with me" maizono said

"no" naegi said.

"but loens dead im not gonna try anything" maizono said

"no" naegi said

"fuck u" maizono said. and then she started twerking.

"luv u babe" naegi said

"lu fucker." maizono said.

"i luv u assahina" sakure said

"wait i forget did we even get back 2gether?" assahina said

"idk this fic has had us break up and make up so many times i forget." sakura said

"o ok then i break up with u." assahina said. sakure crie.

"why assahina" sakura ask

"lol jk now were back together" assahina said

"o yay" sakura said. then sakura and assahina maked out.

"wow take it somewhere else guys that is nasty" maizono said while twerking. then she made out with naegggggggggggggggg.

"so what the fuck do we do now im bored" alter eggo said.

"o look a waffle im hungry" chihiro said. then he ate alter eggo.

"oh" naegi said

"yea" chihiro said.

(2 B CONTINUE...)


	14. mukuro ikusaba joins the cast

(Not srs an: wow ok so ff chose not 2 update last chapter apparently so ill say it again. SHOUT OUT TO TAYLOR FROM THE HOPE'S PEAK MUSICAL EPICMAFIA GAME ITS ME RYAN.)

* * *

"wow ok what now" sakure asked assahina

"sakura why the fuck did you ask me that lots of people died because of my stupid ass ideas" assahina said

"yea lol they were some stupid ass ideas but at least they gave us something to do."

"wow u fuckers are boring" nicki minajs voice said. "so come 2 the gym i have some meet.

"oh lawd" assahina said

so then everyone went to the gym. then they saw nicki minaj hop on the podium

"okay so yea ive decided to give you guys a new student" everyone gasped

"who is it?" koizumi asked

"meet ur new student mukuro ikusaba" nicki said

"hi im mukuro ikusaba

**_SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL AINT AFRAID TO CUT A BITCH- MUKURO IKUSABA_**

"mukuro has inlisted in hte army and has killed many people" nicki said. "lol ok so dont think shes not afraid 2 kill u"

"oh fuck" naegi said. "maizono im scared" he said. but maizono was too busy twerking to pay attention

"ill kill all of you if i have too" mukuro said. then she stepped off the stage and accidentally stepped on a switch. spears then went through her body.

"oh shit my nigga" mukuro said as the spears were piercing through her body. then she died.

"canon" ishimaru said

"well shit what the fuck am i supposed to do now. that was my only plan" nicki said. "o i guess all that i need 2 do now is reveal that sakura has been working with me and is the mole" nicki said

"nicki y u do this" sakura asked nicki

"because im a bad bitch" nicki said

"sakura chan... what the fuck is wrong with you why would you work with nicki." assahina asked

"I didn't. Nickis a fucking liar" sakura said

"ok yea i am sakuras innocent lol" nicki said

"gdi" naegi said. then everyone left the gym. Maizono started cry

"wats wrong maizono" naegi asked

"im sad because i got locked in this shcool on my birthdday and all my friends die" maizono said. dumb bitch.

"wait wow it's ur birthday happy birthday" ishimaru said

"frick off you yaoi" maizono said

"ok we should have a birthday party for maizono" assahina said

"NO!" everyone scream at assahina

"no its a good idea tho" assahina said

"yea assahina you have good ideas lets throw a party for maizono" naegi said

"ok its gonna be a surprise party" naegi said

"ok" maizono said as she walked away.

"how should we surprise her?" sakura asked

"what if we cover her in the blood of all the people who have died so far" koizumi suggested

"lol yea that's a good ass prank" ishimaru said

"wait werent u suppsoed 2 be ishimondo?" koizumi asked

"o shit right im sorry" ishimondo said

"wow ok so what now?" sakura asked

"WE DO HTE POINTLESS YELLING" ishimondo said

"no u gay fuck we have 2 plan maizono's burftday party." koizoom said

"OH YEA. I FORGOT. I'M SORRU." Ishimondo said

"wow what if we have twerking at maiznono's party?" sakura asked

"no. maizono hates twerking" naelegggggg said

"wow naegi r u fuckin kidding me she twerks like 400 times a day" assahina said

"she does? O.o I never noticed." naegi was shocked.

"-_-" sakura emoticoned.

"what sakura how the fuck are u doing emoticons this is a god damn fanfiction written by a bored teenager" assahina asked.

"because im really sailor moon" sakura sed

"wait so does this mean you can break us out of here?" assahina asked

"yea." sakure said

"then do it" assahina demanded

"wow that was so demanding now i wont do it lol trolled XDDDD" sakura said

"frick off sakur" assahina said. "im breaking up with u"

sakura crie "no assahina bby im so sorry"

assahina cry. "no its 2 late the damadge has already been done.

"can I be in the story now" fukawa asked

"no fukawa this is the dramatic part of the story" assahina said

"o" fukawa said

"yea lol" assahina said

"werent we supposed 2 be planning maizonos birthday party?" koizumi asked

"wow frick off koizumi this is supposed 2 be dramatic" sakura said

"yea its 2 dramatic im crying" naegi said while crying. "boo hoo motha fuckas"

"what if we have a party in the gym" assahina asked

"yea that sounds fine wat could posisibly go wrogn?" sakura asked

(2 BE CONTINUE...)


	15. party planning & cute romance

ok so everyone was setting up the gym for maezonos bday party. they decided to go with a nice dora the exlorer themed birthday party, since dora was the baddest bitch they knew. she went 2 hopes peak academy. she was the super high school level adventurer. shes done so many things like explor the seas and fight the grumpy ass troll (who lives under the bridge) but lets face it dora mustve been smokin on dat kush because she so high talkin to animals and shit. o shit i'm getting sidetracted arent i okay anyways lol this party was fancy as fuck.

"I KNO MAIZONO WILL LOVE THIS PARTY" Ishimondo yelled

"she better. dont u kno how hard it is to find dora merch in this school?" naegi said

"lol wow u cood have asked me to buy dora merch i would have done it" nicki minaj said

"nicki u lil shit" naegi said

"lol"

"ne ways... I cant wait for maezono 2 see all this" chihiro said

"yea. we worked 2 hard on it." fukawa said

"AND A PARTY WOULDN'T BE COMPLETE WITHOUT NAKED ISHIMONDO" ishimondo yelled as he took his clothes off

"oh lawd" naegi said, blushuuing. assahina was still crying like the dumb bitch she was.

"sakure-cahn..." assahina cried out

"yes assahina?" saura asked

"no i was just crying out ur name because im 2 sad :(" assahina proclaime

"o" and then sakura walked away. 2 sad im crie :(

"wow this gives me an idea for a new pr0n title. ill call it "celestia loves to give yamada a hard pounding" " koizumi said

"uh what" naegi said

"wow this gives me an idea for a new pr0n title. ill call it "celestia loves to give yamada a hard pounding" " koizumi said

"uh what" fukawa said

"BITCH YOU ALL FUCKING HEARD ME STOP SAYING WHAT" koizumi yelled

"wow ok assahina im sorru ily" sakura said

"ily 2" assahina said. and then they were back together :)

"ok so what now" koizumi asked. naegi came in with a bucket. in that bucket were the bodies of all the people who died so far.

"we set this bucket up 2 suprise maizono" naegi said

"lol shes gonna be so surprised" koizumi said. "ill be sure 2 take pictures of her reaction and put them on instagram"

"WOW OKAY THIS IS MY JOB BECAUSE I WANT TO CONTRIBUTE!" ishimondo proclaimed

and then he set the bucket up.

"k i'll go get Maizono" naegi said. and then he went 2 maizonos dorm

"wow okay maizono pls its time 4 ur party" naegi said. but maizono was to busy twerking and didnt hear nagi.

"MAIZONO YOU FUCK ASS HOE LISTEN 2 ME!" naeg yelled

"what. i was busy jamming to my hit song "we can't stop (unless a person of legal authority decides to take action and end our party)"

"o das my favorit song" naegi sed

"yea and u can buy it on hTunes (Hood Tunes) september 22nd" maizono said

"wow did u just advertise your own ablum in this fic?" naegi said

"yea. is there a fuckin problem?" maizono asked

"no" naegi said

"o ok" maizono said. "so what do u want"

"i need help with my spanish homework" naegi said

"o i can help. orinar en mí naegi-kun." maizono said

"did u just tell me to piss on u?" naegi said

"yea"

"oh"

"ok anything else?" maizono asked

"yea its time 4 ur party" naegi said

"oh shit yay im so excite" maizono said. she was so excite.

"u seem excite" naegi said

"yea. im so excite" maizono sed

"ok lol lets go" naegi said

"k" maizono sed

(2 B CONTINUE...)

* * *

(not srs an: wow ok so i had sakura and assahina get back 2gether 2 make hte cute romance. and we got some cute naezono as well. so i want 2 ask my fanz. what do u think of hte new chapter? wat do u think wil happen at hte birthday part?

ps i kno dis chapter was short but it sets up hte most shoking murder mysterie yet! im so excite ive been waiting so long 4 dis murder mystery. ok be sure 2 favorite and reviw it makez me inspired 2 rite :) )


	16. maizonos birthday party :D

ok so now naegi and maizono were cuddling in nageis room. they were rly in love it was 2 cute. but i prefer naegiri but thats not hte point

"wow frick off narrator cant u see maizono and i r having a romantic moment" naegi said. wow dont be mad just becuz i spek my mind. lol

"wait werent we supposed 2 be having my party?" maizono asked

"ohhhhhhhhhh ya i forgot" naegis dumbass self said.

"i want us 2 sleep in the same room tonite ;)" maizono said. naegi blushhued

"wh-what do u mean?" naegi asked. maizono -_- ed

"bitch what the fuck do u think i mean it means we finna fuck. damn i dont wanna go to the movies or have dinner, i just wanna fuck."

"o. ok lets go to ur party." naegi said.

"k" maizono sed. so then they went 2 maizonos burftday party. and as soon as they went 2 open the dor 2 the burftday party...

"SURPRISE!" everone yelled. maizono jumped.

"wow i didnt expect this u guys r the best." maizono sed.

"AND THERES MORE" ishimondo yelled

"wh" maizono said. and then she got covered in the dead bodies of all the people murdered and executed.

"oh lol u guys r so silly" maizono said, laughing. then everyone laughed. it was a good ass time.

"GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS I DISCOVERED SOMETHING!" ishimondo yelled

"what" assahina asked

"YEA I FOUND HAGAKURES WEED STASH. IT WAS IN HIS POCKET THE ENTIRE TIME."

"ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" everyone said."

"wow thats a good ass hiding place i would have never thought 2 check there." chihiro said.

"ikr" sakura said. "hagakure is 2 smart"

"what the fuck r we waiting 4 lets get high" koizumi sed. and then they all smoked that puffpuff. and then all the weed was gone, and they were all high.

"¿dónde está la biblioteca" koizumi asked. she was so high she could only talk in spanish, a language she didnt even know how 2 speak

"lmao this was a good party u guys. ily all."

and then the lights went off... and when they came back on... assahina scream.. because sakura oogami, the shsl oh shit thats a woman, was ded

"oh shit sakure-cahn..." assahina said. then intercom came on. it was the voice of nicki minaj.

"aight bitches we got a dead body. imma give u some time 2 investigate and then well mass debate at the school trial."

"who the FUCK thought it was a good idea 2 kill at my party?" maizono asked.

"more importantly... who the FUCK managed to kill sakura... she was the strongest 1 here." naegi asked.

"chicos que era la chica escritor espeluznante recortar chick asesino en serie la vi matar sakura" koizumi said

"IT WAS CHIHIRO FUJISAKI HES THE ONLY ONE STRONG ENOUGH TO KILL SAKURA" ishimondo yelled

"wow r u fuckin kidding me i fuckin got killed in canon because i was weak and because mondo a stank pussy hoe plus i was the main suspect last trial dont even try 2 pin this on me" chihiro said

"OH SORRY FUJISAKI" ishimondo yelled

"hm... it looks like sakura was killed by having an umbrella shoved in a fish and then shoved in her throat" makoto said

"wait did narrator just refer 2 me as makoto?" yea

"wow. how horrible :(" maizono said while twerking.

"um... yea thats pretty much all the evidence I can find" naegi said

"wow were fucked." assahina said

"i cant believe some 1 took down sakura." naegi said

"me 2 naegi" assahina said

then nicki minajs voice boomed over the intercom.

"yea you bitches are boring time 4 court"

and then everyone shuddered in fear

* * *

**(wow so another short chapter. I promsie tho that this new murder mystery will be so shocking ull be on the ege of ur seet the hole tyme. i promise. its so gud and well thought out.)**


	17. class trial 4: like my status paula deen

ok so then every1 was in the tiny ass elevator. and lemme tell u this elevator was small as fuck. smaller than mukuro ikusabas titties.

mukuro then stabbed the narrator.

"i herd u were talkin shit" mukuro said.

mukuro u ded remember.

"o ya" mukuro said. and then she disappeared

"guys im so scared what if we dont catch the culprit :(" assahina asked.

"assahina stop being a fuckin pussy damn i have had it with you and ur petty ass drama" chihiro said. that made assahina cried.

"chihiro will u stop makin ppl cry?" fukawa ask

"YEA CHIHIRO THAT'S 2 RUDE" ishimondo yelled

"o sorry" chihiro said.

"¿Por qué nadie me escucha era el escritor" koizumi asked.

"wow i still can't believe sakure is ded" maizono said

"ye ame 2" naegi said. and then the elevator stopped. then every 1 was in court.

**NONSTOP DEBATE BEGIN**

chihiro: lol okay so who killed sakura

koizumi: Te estoy diciendo que es el asesino en serie

chihiro: koizumi its been over 2 hours since we were high why r u still talkin in spanish

koizumi: porque era un poco de hierba culo dope aunque lmfao

chihiro: wh

ishimondo: OK YEA SO SAKURA WAS POISONED RIGHT?

naegi: YOU GOT HTE WROGN!

_**END NONSTOP DEBATE**_

"ishimondo u dumb it was a fish shoved in an umbrella that was shoved down sakuras throat" naegi

"OH RIGHT. THAT'S NORMAL ENOGUH" ishimondo yelled

"this means ur the merrrderrrrer!" chihiro yelled

"ok time 2 accuse some 1" naegi said

**_MAKE AN ACCUSATION_**

_**MAKOTO NAEGI**_**_  
CHIHIRO FUJISAKI  
_**MONDO OOWADA  
KE$HA  
KYOQUISHA QUEERIQUEERI**_  
_**_**AOI ASSAHINA**_**_  
_**SAKURA OOGAMI  
YASUHIRO HAGAKURE  
LOLITA RIHANNA**_  
MILEY CYRUS "SAYAKA" MAIZONO  
_**HIFUMI YAMADA  
POUNDED BY BALLS "LOEN" KUWATA**_  
_**_**MAHIRU KOIZUMI**_**_  
_**_**-=-=-ISHIMONDO-=-=-**_**_  
TOUKO FUKAWA_**

**_Naegi: IT CLOUD OLNY BE U_**

"you killed sakura oogami, didnt u ishimondo?" naegi asked

"no" ishimondo said.

"**FUCK!**" naeleggi screamed.

"guys i have an idea on how 2 find the culprit" assahina says

**NONSTOP DEBATE**

assahina: ok so heres my idea... like my status if ur the culprit

(maizono likes assahinas status)

naegi: maizono... how could u have killed sakura?

**END NONSTOP DEBATE**

"i didnt" maizono said while twerking

"oh well then why did u like assahinas status?" naegi asked

"cuz im a bad bitch" maizono said.

"so we pretty much have no way 2 find the culprit, do we?" fukawa asked

"no. were boned. goodbye life" chihiro said.

"who guys i just realized i speak spanish" maizono said. "koizumi... koizumi saw fuckawa murder sakura" maizono said. everyone gaspud.

"no it wasnt me it was genocider hoe" fukawa said. then she became genocider ho.

"frick off fuckawa and stop blaming me for ur merders" genocider hoe said. then she became fukawa again.

"gdi" fukawa said

"ok lol so heres how the murder happened" naegi said

**CLIMAX INFERENCE**

"yea so while we were busy having a good time fukawa decided to fuck things up. so she took her umbrella and put it down the throat of a fish... and then put it in oogamis throat. killing oogami. 2 cruel" naegi said

**END CLIMAX INFERENCE**

"lol" fukawa said. "yea it was me"

"oh" maizono said.

**_VOTE!_**

**_TOUKO FUKAWA=GUILTY_**

"yea fukawa killed sakura lmfao" nicki said. then assahina crie

"why fukawa" assahina asked

"because she wouldnt let me on the twerk team" fukawa said. then everyone gasped.

"ok lol execution time" nicki minaj said

"wh"

**_GAME OVER_**

**_TOUKO FUKAWA HAS BEEN FOUND GUILTY_**

**_COMMENCING EXECUTION_**

**_TOUKO FUKAWA EXECUTION: TOGAMI KILLS FUKAWA_**

nowait togami isnt in this story nevermind so lets try fukawas execution again.

**_GAME OVER_**

**_TOUKO FUKAWA HAS BEEN FOUND GUILTY_**

**_COMMENCING EXECUTION_**

**_TOUKO FUKAWA EXECUTION: READING KILLS_**

so fukawa is in a room. and theres nothing around. fukawa looks around. and then suddenly DA RULES from the fairly odd parents falls on fukawa and crushes her.

So now it was after the execution. and naegi gets a knock on his room door, and when he opens it... he screams... because standing on the other side of his dor was none other hten the shsl hoodrat detective; kyoqueesha queeriqueeri.

"how r u ali-" but then queeriqueeri whispered in naeleggis ear something.

"Paula Deen...

The sixteenth student in this academy...

The one they call Super High School Level Despair...

Beware of Paula Deen..." queeriqueeri warned naegi.

naegi then looked in shock.

* * *

**(not srs an: wow ok so theres the big twist. not only was fukawa the culprit, but queeriqueeri is actually alive! :O things are now getting even bettr then they were b4. lol. so be sure 2 comment and tell me what u think of hte new chapter and the two big twists that were revealed in the story! :O ok thx 4 reding ily all)**


	18. the truth behind nicki minaj's reign

not srs an: wow guys guys guys somebody did a dramatic reading of MY fanfiction! all with vry well drawn art wich is so gud and wel drawn and vrry detailed. so far he has done a dramatic reading of chapters 1-16 and let me tel u this guy is so gud at capturing hte drama and stufz that was intended in this storie and his lolita rihanna voice is exactly as i imagine it wow thank u random person 4 loving my storie so much u chose 2 do a reading of it.

u can find part 1 of his readiong of dangit ronpaul: a life of new hope here:

watch?v=abGD76STLcw

and be sure 2 look at the other videos 4 the other part xoxoxo

* * *

naegi was 2 shocked at what queeriqueeri just told him.

"w-wait... what do u mean paula deen?" naegi asked

"shhh... nicki minaj cant kno im here" queeriqueeri said. "u see... she knows i didnt die. and now shes trying 2 execute me 4 real."

"but... queeriqueeri... how r u alieve?" naegi asked. queeriqueeri sighed.

"ok fine ill tell u... but u cant tel any1. pinky promise me" keisha said.

"k" and then naegg pinky promised keisha.

"okay... im not really a shsl hoodrat detective..." keisha began. "it... it was a lie. my real talent... the 1 that brought me 2 hopes peak academy... is being a stereotypical deviantart oc"

**_SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL EVERY MARY SUE OVERPOWERED DEVIANTART OC EVER- KYOQUEESHA QUEERIQUEERI._**

"u see... im actually an oc for the hunger games. of course i was made by a weeaboo 10 year old girl, so im extremely op... im ashamed of it." keisha said. naegi was so shocked. shocked that his boo in canon was actually an op deviantart oc.

"but... it didnt stop there" queeriqueeri said, sadly. "my creator after posting it on deviantart went crazy... and decided... 2 make me real. thats how im alive now."

"but i thought jin queeriqueeri was your dad" naegi said

"BITCH LISTEN THE FUCK UP I AM TRYING TO EXPLAIN MY SAD ASS BACKGROUND AND HOW WE CAN TAKE DOWN THE MASTERMIND" queeriqueeri yelled.

"ok ok sorru" naegi sed

"anuways... my creator immediately regretted making me real because i was so op... so then... she spent the next few years making up a plan 2 destroy me." queeriqueeri looked down at the grodun, ashamed.

"who is ur creator?" naegi asked.

"its... its... Paula Deen..." queeriqueeri flinched at the sound of that name. "after i came 2 life... paula moved 2 fosters whore house 4 imaginary friends, you kno, the place where u go if u dont have no friends. and she learned how 2 create imaginary friends... and thats how nicki minaj came 2 be" queeriqueeri said.

"I... I..." naegi said

"but it doesnt in there naeleggi" she sayd. "nicki minaj took over and formed Super High School Level Despair, a group dedicated 2 causing despair 2 selener. eventually... shsl despair lockded u all in this school :(" keisha said.

"so... if we want 2 escape... we have 2 take down paula deen and nicki minaj?" naegi asks.

"yea" queeriqueeri said

"ok" naegi said.

"keep an eye out for selener... i mean... paula deen... the 16th student." queeriqueeri said. "oh... and u must keep me being alive a secret 2 the others... i have a plan... this plan will help us escape hopes peak academy... but if u fuck it up then u all wil be trapped here 5ever" queeriqueeri said

"oh" naegi said. "so... so then how r u alive?" naegi asks.

"because u dum hoe im an overpowered deviantart oc one of my powers is never dying" queeriqueeri said.

"oh"

"yea"

"ok bye" queeriqueeri said, hiding in naegi's room.

so then it was up 2 naegi 2 decide what 2 do now. he was in quite the predicament. he now new how 2 escape hopes peak academy... but he couldnt tell anyone... it was 2 hard 4 naegi 2 decide what 2 do... so he decided to twerk with maizono.

after some romantic twerking with maizono, every 1 meet in the cafeteria.

"ok guys guys guys I have a good idea" assahina suggested.

"**NOOOOOO!**" every1 screamed at assahina so hard that the sentence was bolded, italicized and underlined. ishimondo was back 2 his normal ishimaru self again. but he seems 2 have come 2 terms with himself.

"ok i admit it im ghey" ishimaru admitted.

"and it only took you 18 **GOD DAMN **chapters 2 fucking admit it." chihiro said.

"frick off chihiro i just didnt want anyone 2 kno. that was 2 many ppl 2 kno my secret and now there are only a few ppl here i can admit it" ishimaru said

"anyways... it looks like there r some new places 2 exlor. i think we should explor" koizumi suggested.

"wow koizumi u speak english again!" aoi said happuly

"yea i do lmfao but after me getting that high I now know how to speak over 32 foreign languages." koizumi said.

"wow" assahina said

"yea" koizumi said.

"hey naegi wats wrong u look down :(" maizono sed.

"im just confused... i dont know what 2 do" naegi said

"i kno... i was confused 2 at 1 point" ishimaru sed. "just try it. if ur confused on ur sexuality just try it 2 see if ur homo het bi or pan. its the only way 2 no" ishimaru said.

"no u homosexual baka i mean that im confused because i have a rly hard choice 2 make" naegi said. "#spoilers"

"o it says #spoilers so i cant hear it :(" koizumi said.

"so anyways i hav a good idea... what if... we have a hopes peak academy talent sho!" assahina announced. every 1 approved of the idea.

"yea and we can hav it in the auditorium!" chihiro said

"but... but my yaoi... he was murdered there :(" ishimaru said

"idgaf" chihiro sed.

and then nicki minajs beautiful voice came over the intercom. "alright bitches come to the gym right nao" nicki said. she sounded pissed :( every 1 looked at each other... they were 2 scared...

(2 BE CONTINUE...)


	19. 2 new students! :O

GUYSSSSS DOKOSU DREW SOME BEAUTIFUL FAN ART OF SAYAKA MAIZONO FROM DIS STORY LOOK AT HTE ART IT IS SO GUD

i.

imgur.

com

/ihaHyXU.

png

(put all the things 2gether 2 view dis wonderful piece of art)

* * *

"wh-what cud nicki want?" chihiro asked.

"idk but she sounded pissed" naegi sed. maizono was busy twerkign all the way 2 the gym.

"im so scare I wish mondo was here 2 hold me and tell me it was okay and then call me a pussy ass bitch because i cry 2 much" ishimaru said.

"me 2 ishimar but with sakure-cahn" assahina said. they missed their yaoi and yuris respectively :(

then every 1 went 2 the gym. beside nicki minaj was 2 ppl. 1 girl who was stuck eating butter, and 1 girl who had big ass pigtails.

"alright there are 3 things 4 todays meeting. 1 u guys r getting 2 new students today! 2 theres gonna be another motive 2 kill. and 3 im gonna reveal that nagi is betraying u all!" nicki sed. every 1 gasped.

"nicki u fuckin lier" naegi sed.

"ok lets meet ur first new student. this is paula deen"

"k hi yall im paula deen" paula sed

_**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL BUTTER- PAULA DEEN**_

naegi gasped. "so this is what queeriqueeri was talking about... paula deen... the 16th student..." naegi thought 2 himself.

"k and finally heres the other new student. this is junko enoshima"

"k hi im junko enoshima" she said. junko seemed rly nice and not evil at all!

**_SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL DEFINITELY NOT EVIL AND DEFINITELY NOT THE MASTERMIND IN CANON BECAUSE SHE'S TOO NICE- JUNKO ENOSHIMA_**

"im not evil I WILL BRUTALLY TORTURE YOU ALL im actually rly nice" junko sed.

"wow she seems so nice" maizono sed

"heehee" junko sed.

"but what about naegi betraying us" maizono sed. she looked rlly worried.

"i didnt betray u guys tho"

nicki sighed. "oh ya next motive. no twerking allowed until theres a murder." then maizono stopped twerking and then scream.

"nicki... that is just 2 cruel" maizono sed, resisting the urge 2 twerk. then everyone scream.

"but... we have a twerk team... where koizumi ishimaru and i are the only ones alive on it :(" assahina said.

"now time 4 the joosy gossip. queeriqueeri is alive and is the mastermind who locked u all in the school, and naegi is working with her."

"thats not troo." naegi said. "queeriqueeri is a deviantart oc made by paula deen that came 2 life. shes trying 2 break us out of this school." naegi said.

"GDI NAEGI I FUCKIN TOLD U NOT 2 TELL ANY1 FUCK U ARE USELESS" queeriqueeri yelled. then every1 gasped.

"qu-queeriqueeri... ur aliv!" chihiro said.

"gee thanks captain obvious i had no idea i thought i was fuckin dead ANYWAYS SRSLY tho. ya paula deen is the rll mastermind." queeriqueeri proclaimed.

"no im not" paula denied

"wow i cant believe queeriqueeri is lying 2 us" ishimaru said, crying.

"ishimaru u stupid ho i am not a liar." Keisha said. "gdi narrator make up ur mind am i fuckin queeriqueeri or Keisha or kyoqueesha fuck." kyouqueesha Keisha queeriqueeri said.

"wow frick off narrator" she sed

"annnnyyyyyyways... idk who 2 believe" maizono said.

"im ur frickin hentai ur supposd 2 belive me!" naegi said.

"ya but this is THE paula deen were talking about." maizono sed.

"i cant belive this... every 1 is giving into the side of despur" naegi said

"yay" junko said

"what" naegi said

"i mean... gay. despur is gay" junko said, cringing at what she just sed.

"oh wow so do u belive me?" naegi asked junko.

"ya i do belive u i kno its troo because i was gonna lock u all in the school and make u kill each other but then nicki minaj and paula tied me up and made me wait until now 2 appear" junko said

"what" naegi asked

"oh i mean... i like kittens" junko said

"o" naegi said. junko and naegi were the only 1s 2 believe Keisha. koizumi, chihiro, ishimaru, maizono, paula and assahina all believed paula.

"ok so ya thats it bitches bye" nicki said. then she disappeared in a clod of wigs.

"what the fuck r we supposed 2 do now? i cant twerk so how r we gonna do this?" maizono asked.

"we still have the talent show 2 put on. after all, hopes peak is 4 ppl with talent!" assahina said

"well lets see... naegis talent is being lucky, ishimarus talent is being heterosexual WHICH HE FUCKING SUCKS AT, assahinas talent is idk, junkos talent is being nice, koizumis talent is filming porn, chihiros talent is being a pimp, queeriqueeris talent is being a deviantart oc, paula's talent is butter, and my talent is being miley cyrus... THESE ARE ALL RLY GOOD TALENTS FOR A TALENT SHOW! :D" MAIZONO SAID HAPPILY. SO HAPPILY THAT THE WORDS AFTER IT WERE IN ALL CAPS!

"i just wish ke$ha was here 2 see the talent sho :(" assahina said. then every 1 crie over ke$ha

**_STUDENTS REMAINING: 9 out of 18_**

_**MAKOTO NAEGI  
CHIHIRO FUJISAKI  
**_MONDO OOWADA_**  
**__**JUNKO ENOSHIMA  
**_KE$HA_**  
KYOQUISHA QUEERIQUEERI**  
_**_AOI ASSAHINA  
_**SAKURA OOGAMI  
YASUHIRO HAGAKURE  
LOLITA RIHANNA  
MUKURO IKUSABA  
**__****_MILEY CYRUS "SAYAKA" MAIZONO  
_**_HIFUMI YAMADA__  
POUNDED BY BALLS "LOEN" KUWATA____  
_**____****MAHIRU KOIZUMI****_  
_****_KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU  
_**TOUKO FUKAWA  
**_PAULA DEEN_**

**_ENDING PICTURE:_**

Naegi is in the middle of a large classroom, flipping the camera off. Fukawa is in the corner as genocider hoe holding her special ho scissors that she kills ppl with. Ke$ha is seen right next 2 naegi drinking a bottle of jack. loen is seen poledancing in the right corner. yamada is reading a mlp yaoi fanfiction in the left corner. sakura is weight lifting next to the window. Lolita Rihanna is seen in the front of the classroom worshiping satan. hagakure is smoking weed next to lolita rihanna. mukuro is seen about 2 stab yamada. mondo is in the front and appears 2 be leaning in to kiss somebody, but the person hes kissing isn't there.

(2 BE CONTINUE...)

* * *

(ok so ya I decided 2 start doing the students remaining thing and the ending picture like in the anime of all the dead people at the end of the chapter because it makes it a lot easier 2 tell whos alive and whos dead I think its a good idea tell me what u think. also what do u think will happen at the talent sho? be sure 2 let me kno.)


	20. no talent show, no more ideas :(

tension was high among the remaining dingle rompers. nobody belived naegg junko and keisha D: so the tree were meeting in hte moosic room, listening to sayaka maizonos hit single "twerk (ing is a fun sport but don't film vines with it because youll probs die)" oh and the other ppl who didnt belive naeg junko and queerqueer were also in the moosic room. it was rly silent though... totes awkward lol. no but srsly it was rly quiet. koizumi decided to create a conversation in order to make things not awkward.

"hey have u guys ever wondered if hagakures pubes look like the hair on his hed?" koizumi asked. yea that bitch failed... or did she?

"ya i wonder that all the time" maizono sed

"we should find out" koizumi declared.

"well we do got some time b4 hte talent sho. we shud do it." assahina said. and then they realized something :( they couldnt do the talent show because twerkign wa s banned until a merder occured.

"ok so what if we have dinner again" assahina asked.

"that's a good ass idea assahina." ishimaru asked.

"didnt hagakure die the last time we had dinner" queeriqueeri asked

"ya lol that was a good ass time." koizumi said.

"speaking of which why did u kill lady hgagakure?" naegi asked

"bc his weave was flyer then mine" queeriqueeri said.

"turns out it wasnt even weave" assahina said.

"what. so he died 4 nothign" queeriqueeri said.

"ya pretty much lol" koizumi saed.

"ok so lets go 2 dinner" assahina suggested. every 1 agreed.

so then every one had dinner. and it was a good ass dinner. this dinner was so good omfg it was gooder than owaris nip nipz :3 2 bad hinate never got 2 touch her bewbz. anyways every one was having an intellegant conversation.

"...so long story short that's how i cured my rectal prolapse." maizono said. every one clapped at her beautiful story.

"wow maizono that was so inspirational." chihiro sed. "so who wants 2 hear why i dress up like a girl?"

"i do" mahiru said.

"lol okay so one day i was out corrupting the youth of society and then some 1 called me weak. so then i decided 2 dress up as a woman."

"wow rude" maizono said.

"ya" chihiro said.

and then suddenly the lights cut off. and when the lights cut back on... everyone screamed. because, hanging from the ceiling by junko enoshima's weave

was aoi assahina

"n-nooooooooo!" maizono screamed.

"great whos gonna do these gay ass plans now?" ishimaru asked.

"more importantly who the fuck stole my weave to strangle assahina." junko asked. one of her big ass pigtails was missing.

"no... it had to have been maizono..." queeriqueeri suggested. "I was investigating the booty and saw maizono turn the lights off"

"i didn't mean 2 turn the lights off tho." maizono sed.

"SHUT UP U MERRRRRRDEEEEERRRREEEEER!" ishimaru yelled.

":(" maizono sed.

then nicki minajs voice boomed over the intercom.

"aight bitches so we got a dead body. after investigation itll be time 2 go 2 court. so do that."

"hm... lets see... a chair kicked over... junkos weave... maizono cutting the lights off... it was obviously murder." chihiro said.

"ya but somebody tried 2 make it look like assahina did it." koizumi said. "but i got this picture of maizono taking junkos weave" koizumi said. she held up a picture of maizono taking junkos weave.

"gasp" naegi said

"gdi" maizono said.

"okay bitches time 4 court" nicki minaj said. everyone was scared.

**_STUDENTS REMAINING: 8 out of 18_**

_**MAKOTO NAEGI  
CHIHIRO FUJISAKI  
**_MONDO OOWADA_**  
**__**JUNKO ENOSHIMA  
**_KE$HA_**  
KYOQUISHA QUEERIQUEERI**  
__AOI_ ASSAHINA**  
**SAKURA OOGAMI  
YASUHIRO HAGAKURE  
LOLITA RIHANNA  
MUKURO IKUSABA  
**_MILEY CYRUS "SAYAKA" MAIZONO  
_**_HIFUMI YAMADA__  
POUNDED BY BALLS "LOEN" KUWATA__  
_**____****MAHIRU KOIZUMI****_  
_****_KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU  
_**TOUKO FUKAWA  
**_PAULA DEEN_**

**_ENDING PICTURE:_**

Naegi is in the middle of a large classroom, flipping the camera off. Fukawa is in the corner as genocider hoe holding her special ho scissors that she kills ppl with. Ke$ha is seen right next 2 naegi drinking a bottle of jack. loen is seen poledancing in the right corner. yamada is reading a mlp yaoi fanfiction in the left corner. sakura is weight lifting next to the window. Lolita Rihanna is seen in the front of the classroom worshiping satan. hagakure is smoking weed next to lolita rihanna. mukuro is seen about 2 stab yamada. mondo is in the front and appears 2 be leaning in to kiss somebody, but the person hes kissing isn't there. assahina is seen encouraging sakura 2 life weights and shes also eating donuts.

(2 BE CONTINUE...)


	21. class trial 5: what secrets! :O part 1

so then now it was back to the tiny ass elevators for the 5th god damn trial today. yes, the elevator that was tinier than mukuro ikusaba's tittes. im pretty sure ur getting tired of that joke but ill likely never stop it because its become a funny ass running gag just like togami not being in this story. yes this story is resorting to reusing jokes isnt that how most of these turn out?

anyways lol so back to the tiny ass elevators. since ppl didnt trust nagi anymor they decided to appoint a NEW PROTAGONIST FOR DIS TRIAL?! :O :OOOOO yea lol they decided 2 make junko the new protag because those ratchet ass hoes didnt trust naegi.

"I can't FUCKING believe you guys replaced me as protag" naegi yelled like the little baby is.

"haha no protag naegi" chihiro teased.

"stfu shota" naegi yelled. chihiro crie.

"I SWEAR TO GOD I AM GOING TO FIND WHOEVER USED MY WEAVE TO STRANGE AOI ASSAHINA, STRANGLE THEM WITH THEIR OWN WEAVE, AND THEN CUT OFF MY LEFT HAND AND MAKE THEM USE THE HAND THAT I CUT OFF AND THEN APPOINT THEM TO THE GROUP SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL DESPAIR!" junko, who was still missing part of her weave, yelled.

"wow junko thats kind of meen yall" paula deen said.

"stfu paula deen u 2 ratchet #ratchet" queeriqueeri said with a lol.

"you butter take that back!" paula yelled.

"lol no"

"as an advocate of weave, I decree that the killer of Aoi Assahina to be a sick bastard!" ishimaru yelled.

"me 2" naegi said.

"guys i didnt fucking kill aoi pls dont h8 me :(" maizono said.

"maizono give it up ur the merderer" koizumi said.

"Koizumi you stank pussy uncircumsized penis coconut haired hoe please shut the fuck up we havent even got to court yet you cant accuse me yet" maizono said.

"i blame men" koizumi said. "thats why im with my dear banana haird seyonji."

"saaaay what ever happened to seyonji anyways?" chihiro asked. "bc i remember a reviewer asking about her."

"ive been in this story ever since i first appeared!" seyonji announced.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Chihiro yelled.

"im just not allowed 2 talk bc im in the sequel of this story and aaaaaallllllll of my dialogue is supposed to go there!" seyonji sed.

"o"

"ya" and then seyonji shutted the fuck up.

"wait you mean theres gonna be a sequel to this bullshit?" naegi asked. yup its confirmed now naegi lol.

and then it was time 4 court! :O

"ok lol so we're gonna change the style of the court trials of school life and death up a bit more." nicki said. "were gonna do more than just NONSTOP DEBATES and MAKE AN ACCUSATION and CLIMAX INFERENCE! were also gonna do MACHINE GUN TALK BATTLES, THAT SNOWBOARDING QUESTION ANSWERING BULLSHIT, and of course, EPIPHANY ANAGRAMS."

"ok no fuck that this is too much work im passing the responsability of being protag to maizono." junko said

"yay" maizono said

"gdi" naegi said.

"why the fuck would you pass protag privelages onto maizono she's the god damn murderer!" koizumi yelled.

"ugh like, fine i'll be the protag" junko said.

"ok time 2 start a nonstop debate i guess."

_**NONSTOP DEBATE**_

koizumi: it was maizono!

maizono: no it wasnt

koizumi: but... i even have pictures to prove it!

maizono: they're quite clearly photoshopped. im not even twerking in that photo!

koizumi: then they MUST BE PHOTOSHOPPED! :O

junko: _**YOU GOT HTE WROGN!**_

_**END NONSTOP DEBATE**_

"wow maizono dont u remember... twerking is banned until there was a murder." junko said.

"oh shit..." maizono said.

"then... then... uuu... ur the... MEEEEERRRRRRRDDDDDDEEEEEERRRRRRRREEEEEEERRRR!" chihiro yelled.

"no im not" maizono said.

"then how do you explain you taking my weave?" junko asked.

"those pictures are photoshopped!" maizono said.

"wait... I have an accusation!" naegi proclaimed.

"who?" junko asked.

"hes the only one who can use photoshop... tell them, junko" naegi said.

"gdi why the fuck are you asking me its your fucking accusation" junko yelled.

"ya lol ik but ur protag now and this happens pmuch every trial." naegi said.

"fine! it must be..."

**_EPIPHANY ANAGRAM START!_**

**_C_R__**

**_CHI_R__**

**_CHIHIR__**

**_CHIHIRO_**

junko: **_I GTO TI!_**

**_END EPIPHANY ANAGRAM!_**

"if it wasnt maizono... then the only one capable of using photoshop... IS CHIHIRO FUJISAKI!" junko yelled. every one gasped.

"i argee. chihiro has also been accusing maizono since day 1" queeriqueeri said. "well actually idk that since i was fucking absent for most of the fucking story."

"but ya... it has to be chihiro fujisaki" naegi said.

"i... i wont deny my involvement in this case." chihiro said. "i did photoshop the pictures of maizono taking junkos weave."

"so you admit that YOU killed her?!" koizumi yelled.

"no... i was just an accomplice." chihiro said.

"fujisaki you bitch ass ho why would you do that :O" maizono aked.

"the culprit... promised me that they would give me the keys to shota land if i helped. so when maizono cut the lights off, i quickly photoshopped koizumis picture."

"all in just a few seconds?" koizumi asked.

"yea"

"oh. thats completely logical and believable!" koizumi said.

"so then... who's the real culprit?" naegi asked.

"I can't tell you... or else they wont give me the keys 2 shota land... sry guise." chihiro said.

"damn it hes using the gender pronoun that applies to all the genders so what do?" naegi asked.

"we have no way of identifying the culprit!" ishimaru yelled.

"no... were all gonna be executed! D:" queeriqueeri said.

"but arent u invincible?" junko asked.

"ohhhhh i am right. lol sucks 4 u guys then." queeriqueeri said.

**_NONSTOP DEBATE_**

paula: y'all i have an idea y'all

maizono: what?

paula: why did maizono cut the lights off, yall?

koizumi: it never occured 2 me 2 ask that... why DID you cut the lights off?

maizono: *nervous sweating*

junko: **YOUVE GOT HTE WROGN!**

_**END NONSTOP DEBATE**_

"ummm wtf do i have wrogn exactly?" maizono asked.

"oh lol nothin im not used 2 being protagonist" junko said. "but ur nervous sweating proves that ur involved with the case somehow."

naegi gasped, "wh... why would my hentai be involved in this? B-Baka!"

"no negi shes right... i did have somethin 2 do with this case... i wont deny it..." maizono said. EVERYONE GASPED! :O :O :O :O :O

"but... why..." naegi asked.

"because... the culprit promised me the keys to twerk team ville if i helped." maizono said.

koizumi facepalmed,"im just gonna be the one to say this... you guys are a bunch of FUCKING IDIOTS because if the culprit wins and we accuse wrong you all will be executed!"

"ooooohhhhh right." maizono said.

"ooooohhhhh right." chihiro said.

"k ya lol it was ishimaru that killed assahina" maizono said.

"gdi im caught" ishimaru said.

"ok so its time 4 climax inference" junko said.

**_CLIMAX INFERENCE_**

"so we all went 2 dinner. ishimaru decided to murder assahina for some reason. he hired chihiro and maizono to be accomplices under false pretenses. so first maizono cut the lights off. then chihiro took my weave and gave it 2 ishimaru. then koizumi took pictures. chihiro quickly edited those pictures to make it look like maizono did it. then ishimaru accidnetally knock a chair over. he then killed aoi assahina and all of the blame went to maizono."

_**END CLIMAX INFERENCE**_

"fine... i did it..." ishimaru admitted. "but thats not all there is behind this. this trial isn't over. this trial is far from over!" ishimaru yelled.

"upupupu... ishimaru is right. you guys have 2 figure out not only EVERYTHING there is to know about this complicated murder, but you must also find out about JUNKO'S SECRET!" nicki minaj said.

"m-my secret?" junko said.

"I... I think I know what junkos secret is..." naegi said. "but i'll only tell u if you let me be protag-chan again." naegi said.

"k fine" nicki minaj said.

**_PROTAG SWITCH! NAEGI IS PROTAG ONCE MORE!_**

**_EPIPHANY ANAGRAM_**

K_$_

KE$_

KE$H_

KE$HA

**_KE$HA_**

naegi:**_ I GTO TI!_**

**_END EPIPHANY ANAGRAM_**

"thats right... junkos secret is... junko enoshima ISN'T REALLY JUNKO ENOSHIMA!" naegi said.

"WHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT?!" ishimaru asked.

"no thats not true... that is junko enoshima... who else could it be?" queeriqueeri asked

"junko enoshima... IS KE$HA DISGUISED AS JUNKO!"

**_STUDENTS REMAINING: 8 out of 18_**

_**MAKOTO NAEGI  
CHIHIRO FUJISAKI  
**_MONDO OOWADA_**  
**_JUNKO ENOSHIMA**_  
_**_**KE$HA  
KYOQUISHA QUEERIQUEERI**  
__AOI_ ASSAHINA**  
**SAKURA OOGAMI  
YASUHIRO HAGAKURE  
LOLITA RIHANNA  
MUKURO IKUSABA  
**_MILEY CYRUS "SAYAKA" MAIZONO  
_**_HIFUMI YAMADA__  
POUNDED BY BALLS "LOEN" KUWATA__  
_**____****MAHIRU KOIZUMI****_  
_****_KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU  
_**TOUKO FUKAWA  
**_PAULA DEEN_**

**_ENDING PICTURE:_**

Naegi is in the middle of a large classroom, flipping the camera off. Fukawa is in the corner as genocider hoe holding her special ho scissors that she kills ppl with. loen is seen poledancing in the right corner. yamada is reading a mlp yaoi fanfiction in the left corner. sakura is weight lifting next to the window. Lolita Rihanna is seen in the front of the classroom worshiping satan. hagakure is smoking weed next to lolita rihanna. mukuro is seen about 2 stab yamada. mondo is in the front and appears 2 be leaning in to kiss somebody, but the person hes kissing isn't there. assahina is seen encouraging sakura 2 life weights and shes also eating donuts. junko is now next 2 mukuro talking on the phone about despair.

(2 BE CONTINUE...)

* * *

**(WHOA! TWO PARTER TRIAL! WHAT TWIST! :O lol ya ok so this trial was split up into 2 parts because its sooooo elaborate and well thought out. even more well thought out then SAKURA'S TRIAL! :O :O :O :O so ya pls let me know what you think of the BIG TWIST that was revealed in this trial! i worked so hard on this trial over 7 HOUR on it! so pls review and let me kno what u think! i made this chapter xtra long because i havent been updating as recent!)**


	22. class trial 5: what secrets! :O part 2

"noooo im not nagei ur 2 stupid" junko said.

"oh... u wanna go bitch? we finna do a machine gun talk battle" naegi said.

"wait so were actually following through with this?" junko asked

"yea... it adds a nice touch onto the suspense" naegi said

"if u say so..."

**_MACHINE GUN TALK BATTLE_**

Junko: I'M NOT KE$HA. YOU HAVE NO PROOF!

Naegi: OF COURSE I HAVE PROOF! THE PROOF IS IN THIS EVIDENCE!

Junko: NAEGI UR STUPID.

Naegi: I FUCKING KNOW I'M STUPID. BUT I'M SMART ENOUGH TO FIGURE OUT THESE ELABORATE MERDERS!

Junko: AHO AHO AHO AHO AHO AHO AHO AHO AHO AHO AHO!

Naegi: BITCH, LOEN'S DEAD!

Junko: PROVE THAT I'M KE$HA. FUCKING PROVE IT. I DARE YOU!

_**END MACHINE GUN TALK BATTLE**_

"The proof is in this picture that koizumi took" naegi said

"you mean the one chihiro photoshopped? -_-" junko asked

"yes. but if u recall... chihiro only photoshopped maizono into the picture." naegi said. "but in this picture... YOU'RE DRINKING A BOTTLE OF JACK!"

"but... but the only person who can drink a bottle of jack... is ke$ha!" maizono exclaimed.

"yeah... I only photoshopped maizono in the picture... I NEVER photoshopped junko!" chihiro said.

"S-So it's true!? junko enoshima is really... ke$ha?" ishimaru asked.

"yea." naegi said.

"but... ke$ha's dead? she can't be junko!" koizumi yelled.

"... no... im alive... junko i$ the one that$ dead..." junko said, but in her tone of voice of ke$ha. everyone gasped!

"n-no... way!" ishimaru yelled.

"you like, hear me? im ke$ha! the $uper $pecial that like, know$ the truth behind hope$ peak academy!" ke$ha announced. she then went to her respective seat. and then a signpost with a portrait of junko in it thats x'ed out in red appeared.

"no way... so ke$ha is alive?!" chihiro said happily!

"but why would ke$ha disguise as junko?" koizumi asked.

"a$k naegi" ke$ha $aid.

"gdi" naegi said.

**THAT SNOWBOARDING QUESTION ANSWERING BULLSHIT**

naegi then imagined himself snowboarding to some FUNKY FRESH TUNES.

**Question 1: If Ke$ha is alive... this must mean...**

**Naegi: That Junko is dead!**

**Question 2: Why did Ke$ha disguise as Junko?**

**Naegi: They must have swapped places beforehand!**

**Question 3: Why the fuck is Naegi so god damn stupid I asked WHY she disguised as junko not WHEN.**

**Naegi: BECAUSE YOU TOUCH YOURSELF AT NIGHT!**

_**Naegi: I'EV FIGRUED IT OTU!**_

**END THAT SNOWBOARDING QUESTON ANSWERING BULLSHIT**

"thats right... if ke$ha is alive... then junko must be dead!" naegi announced.

"it'$ like, true." ke$ha said.

"but... why would ke$ha disguise as junko?" ishimaru asked.

"it$ like, a long $tory... you $ee, junko mukuro and i are all $isters. junko and mukuro love de$pair... and i love hope... but then junko decided 2 lock u guy$ up in the $chool... so i decided 2 fake a plan and $witch identites with junko. mukuro wa$ ju$t kind of there 4 a backup plan... but then... nicki minaj took over in place of junko! :O $o i wa$ held ho$tage by nicki until now. the rea$on why i decided 2 fake a plan was becau$e i knew junko wouldnt be able 2 resist killing $ome 1. and $he ended up killign yamada and loen."

"um... um... actually, lolita rihanna killed yamada and loen, technically... junko was just the mastermind behind that plot..." chihiro said.

"$HUT THE FUCK UP BITCH I'M FUCKING TALKING!" ke$ha yelled. "n e way$... but i didnt expect mukuro 2 get killed. and then i became a part of the group once again... along with paula deen, the real ma$termind."

"what the fuck are you talking about yall?" paula said. "i aint no mastermind yall"

"yes you are" queeriqueeri said.

"ye$ you are" ke$ha said.

"gdi yall" paula said.

"man bitches we can save the paula deen mastermind shit for next trial just pls hurry up and solve ke$ha's secret." nicki said.

"actually, that'$ pretty much it. that$ my $tory." ke$ha said.

"anything else?" ishimaru asked.

"one la$t thign... all of u$ have been going 2 hope$ peak academy for 2 years... but nicki minaj and paula deen, like, took our memorie$."

"WHAAAAAATTTTTT?!" Every 1 yelled.

"ya... here$ proof." then ke$ha held out a picture. it was ALLLL of them, excluding togami, and including nicki minaj, on hopes peak academys official weave fight day. every 1 gasped.

"th-then..." chihiro said.

"weve been going 2 hopes peak academy for 2 years?!" maizono exclaimed.

"maizono i think u mean WEAVE been going 2 hopes peak academy for over 2 years." ishimaru said. everyone -_- ed at his shitty ass pun.

"YO MY NIGGAS WE CAN SAVE THE BACKGROUND HISTORY TALK FOR NEXT TRIAL IT'S TIME 2 VOTE THE CULPRIT OF ASSAHINA'S MERDER!" nicki minaj yelled.

**_VOTE!_**

**_KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU: GUILTY!_**

"ya the person who killed aoi assahina... is kiyotaka ishimaru!" nicki minaj yelled.

"um ya we know he admitted it last chapter..." maizono said.

"so... i guess this means it's time 4 execution?" nicki said.

"not yet... why did ishimaru kill aoi assahina?" naegi asked.

"it was assahinas idea." ishimaru admitted. everyone gasped. "well... both of our ideas, really. its so she could be reunited with her yuri and i could be reunited with my yaoi :(" ishimaru said. every 1 crie because it was soooooooooooooo romantic and sad.

"thats 2 cute yall..." paula deen said.

"boo fuckin hoo now its time for ishimarus execution" nicki said.

"wh" ishimaru said.

**_GAME OVER_**

**_KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU HAS BEEN FOUND GUILTY_**

**_COMMENCING EXECUTION_**

**_KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU EXECUTION: THIS EXECUTION IS FUCKING GAY_**

nicki minaj brings in a laptop. ishimaru is tied 2 a chair and forced to watch. he watches as nicki minaj goes on and forces him to read "ishimondo: a love story!" by The Gay. he loves the fanfiction, but the moment when it gets to the nsfw scenes, ishimaru thinks the nsfw scene is soooooooooo hot that he gets a nosebleed. and then he bleeds to death from the nosebleed.

**(AN: PS GUYS GO READ "ishimondo: a love story!" by The Gay. it is soooooooo good and very well written. it has the best humor and the nsfw scenes are soooooooooo hot. i just know all of my fanz will luv it. it needs more reviews so pls review it u wont regret it.)**

every 1 was shocked... because ishimaru was dead... actually thats bullshit they were shocked because ke$ha was alive. they then exited court. it was time for them to go back to their normal life of mutual twerking... but without assahina's shitty ass plans.

**_STUDENTS REMAINING: 7 out of 18_**

_**MAKOTO NAEGI  
CHIHIRO FUJISAKI  
**_MONDO OOWADA_**  
**_JUNKO ENOSHIMA**_  
_**_**KE$HA  
KYOQUISHA QUEERIQUEERI**  
_AOI ASSAHINA**  
**SAKURA OOGAMI  
YASUHIRO HAGAKURE  
LOLITA RIHANNA  
MUKURO IKUSABA  
**_MILEY CYRUS "SAYAKA" MAIZONO  
_**_HIFUMI YAMADA__  
POUNDED BY BALLS "LOEN" KUWATA__  
_**____****MAHIRU KOIZUMI****_  
_**KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU**_  
_**TOUKO FUKAWA  
**_PAULA DEEN_**

**_ENDING PICTURE:_**

Naegi is in the middle of a large classroom, flipping the camera off. Fukawa is in the corner as genocider hoe holding her special ho scissors that she kills ppl with. loen is seen poledancing in the right corner. yamada is reading a mlp yaoi fanfiction in the left corner. sakura is weight lifting next to the window. Lolita Rihanna is seen in the front of the classroom worshiping satan. hagakure is smoking weed next to lolita rihanna. mukuro is seen about 2 stab yamada. mondo is in the front and appears 2 be leaning in to kiss somebody, but the person hes kissing isn't there. assahina is seen encouraging sakura 2 life weights and shes also eating donuts. junko is now next 2 mukuro talking on the phone about despair. mondo and ishimaru are in the front, kissing each other, while ishimaru is carving the words "NO HOMO" in the desk with a pen.

(2 BE CONTINUE...)

* * *

**(AN: so ya this was part 2 of 2 of aoi assahinas trial. and lemme tell you WOW THIS CHATPER WAS SOOOOOOO HARD 2 WRITE IT MAKE ME HAPPY BECAUSE KE$HA'S ALIVE... But Ishimaru's dead D: oh well... we're getting close to the GRAND FINALE! :O :O :O :O so stay tooned...)**


	23. naegi doesnt tag his spoilers :'(

Everyone was back in the lunch room... and things were silent as fuck. ishimaru, the most offensive character in this story, was dead :( and no 1 knew what 2 think.

"so do u guys ever look in the mirror and thing 'whoaaaa what if my pubic hair was a tree'?" koizumi asked

"whoaaaa dude all the time" chihiro said.

"guys were getting off topic here... we just found out our memories from da past 2 yurs have been taken from us!" queeriqueeri said.

maizono was off in da corner twerking harder than she ever twerked b4

"oh sweet bby twerking... i missed u so much" maizono said.

"um ya i think we need 2 like, believe in naegi now" ke$ha said.

"i argee" chihiro said. "frick paula deen. we have 2 believe in naegi!"

"i think we should believe in naegi bc ke$ha told us 2" maizono said.

"but naegi and queeriqueeri are the mastermind yall!" paula declared.

"oh no now we have 2 believe in paula deen" maizono said.

"D:" chihiro said.

"god damn it" naegi said. queeriqueeri sighed.

"guy$, like, $eriou$ly? Why don't u fucking believe me i'm fucking ke$ha." ke$ha said.

"im so torn right now..." chihiro said, sighign

"well i belive nagi and ke$ha!" maizono stated.

"wow i cant believe u came around maizono!" naegi said excitedly.

"ya ikr!" maizono said. "but what about the others?"

"oh we belive paula deen" the others said.

then naegi decided it was time 4 a spoilers flashback 2 demonstrate his sadness.

**_"Yasuhiro 420 Hagakure was murdered..._**

**_For that murder, Kyoqueesha Queeriqueeri was executed..._**

**_Loen Kuwata was murdered_**

**_...And then so was Hifumi Yamada..._**

**_Lolita Rihanna was the killer..._**

**_...But she was hired by Junko Enoshima, who was disguised as Ke$ha._**

**_For that reason, Junko Enoshima, who was dressed as Ke$ha, was executed._**

**_Then Mondo Oowada was murdered..._**

**_...For that murder, Lolita Rihanna was executed._**

**_Then Sakura Oogami was murdered..._**

**_...Touko Fukawa was the culprit there..._**

**_But it turns out, Kyoqueesha Queeriqueeri was alive!_**

**_And most recently, Aoi Assahina was murdered..._**

**_...Her murder was an elaborate plan, all thrown together by Kiyotaka Ishimaru..._**

**_And then... Junko Enoshima turned out to just be a disguise thrown together by Ke$ha..._**

**_Junko Enoshima was the one executed in the Second Trial..."_**

"wow naegi tag ur spoilers!" koizumi yelled at naegi. "i was only on trial 3 of this fic and u FUCKING SPOILED IT FOR ME!"

naegi glared at koizumi, "bitch ur a part of this story remember."

"oh right"

nicki minajs voice BOOMED over the intercom, "ok bitches come 2 the gym right now... we need 2 prepare u for DA FINAL SCHOOL COURT!"

"wh-what?" chihiro said.

"its... its almost over..." queeriqueeri said. "i made a deal with nicki minaj... except i dont feel like explaining shit so heres a flashback."

_**FLASHBACK!**_

"nicki minaj i need 2 talk to you." queeriqueeri said.

"yea queeriqueeri?" nicki minaj asked.

"there aint gonna be no damn murders anymore so can we have a school trial where our goal is to expose the mastermind?" queeriqueeri asked.

"ya like totes that sounds like a good idea!" nicki said.

"great! thank u creation of my creator :)" queeriqueeri said.

"ur welcome :)" nicki minaj said. then queeriqueeri walked out.

"wait... WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST AGREE TOO!?" nicki yelled.

**_END FLASHBACK!_**

"so... that must be what nicki wants!" koizumi yelled. every 1 agreed.

"ok $o lets go" ke$ha said.

"ke$ha how the fuck do you talk with money signs in your sentences?" chihiro asked.

"like thi$" ke$ha said.

"... That don't explain shit."

**_"I FUCKING SAID COME TO THE GOD DAMN GYMNASIUM YOU BITCHES!"_ **nicki yelled over the intercom.

then every 1 came 2 the god damn gym.

"good... now that ur here... its time 2 talk about the final school trial!" nicki said.

"f-final school trial?" chihiro asked.

"ya lol. I dnt feel lyk explaining it so heres a flashback instead." nicki said

_**FLASHBACK!**_

"nicki minaj i need 2 talk to you." queeriqueeri said.

"yea queeriqueeri?" nicki minaj asked.

"there aint gonna be no damn murders anymore so can we have a school trial where our goal is to expose the mastermind?" queeriqueeri asked.

"ya like totes that sounds like a good idea!" nicki said.

"great! thank u creation of my creator :)" queeriqueeri said.

"ur welcome :)" nicki minaj said. then queeriqueeri walked out.

"wait... WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST AGREE TOO!?" nicki yelled.

**_END FLASHBACK!_**

****"um... queeriqueeri already like, $howed us that fla$hback." ke$ha said.

"she did? well shit. looks like i gotta explain shit then." nicki said. "in da final school trail, you will mass debate in order 2 find out the MASTERMIND who locked u all in here. if u get it right, you all will be released from hopes peak academy. but if u get it wrong... then ull all get executed!"

every 1 cheered... and then gasped when nicki said that theyll be executed if they get it wrong.

"oh and btw here are some pictures 4 u guys 2 look at and acuse the others of being the mastermind." nicki then went around and handed out pictures 2 every 1.

the picture she handed naegi was Nicki Minaj, Himself, Chihiro, Mondo, Junko, Ke$ha, Queeriqueeri, Assahina, Sakura, Hagakure, Lolita Rihanna, Mukuro, Maizono, Loen, Koizumi, Ishimaru, and Paula Deen all chasing Yamada and trying 2 light him on fire. but yamada is runnign away.

"that picture uve got ther naegi is on national sacrifice a virgin day." nicki minaj said. "that was a good ass day. lmfao."

"whoa... so dis must mean... that every 1 else is the mastermind conspiring against me!?" naegi said.

"no naegi u dumb" queeriqueeri said.

"oh and u guys hav 1 hour 2 investigate 4 cloos as to who da mastermind is. all da doors hav been unlocked so u can investigate as u please." nicki minaj said. every 1 looked at each other distrustingly.

**_STUDENTS REMAINING: 7 out of 18_**

_**MAKOTO NAEGI  
CHIHIRO FUJISAKI  
**_MONDO OOWADA_**  
**_JUNKO ENOSHIMA**_  
_**_**KE$HA  
KYOQUISHA QUEERIQUEERI**  
_AOI ASSAHINA**  
**SAKURA OOGAMI  
YASUHIRO HAGAKURE  
LOLITA RIHANNA  
MUKURO IKUSABA  
**_MILEY CYRUS "SAYAKA" MAIZONO  
_**_HIFUMI YAMADA__  
POUNDED BY BALLS "LOEN" KUWATA__  
_**____****MAHIRU KOIZUMI****_  
_**KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU**_  
_**TOUKO FUKAWA  
**_PAULA DEEN_**

**_ENDING PICTURE:_**

Naegi is in the middle of a large classroom, flipping the camera off. Fukawa is in the corner as genocider hoe holding her special ho scissors that she kills ppl with. loen is seen poledancing in the right corner. yamada is reading a mlp yaoi fanfiction in the left corner. sakura is weight lifting next to the window. Lolita Rihanna is seen in the front of the classroom worshiping satan. hagakure is smoking weed next to lolita rihanna. mukuro is seen about 2 stab yamada. mondo is in the front and appears 2 be leaning in to kiss somebody, but the person hes kissing isn't there. assahina is seen encouraging sakura 2 life weights and shes also eating donuts. junko is now next 2 mukuro talking on the phone about despair. mondo and ishimaru are in the front, kissing each other, while ishimaru is carving the words "NO HOMO" in the desk with a pen.

(2 BE CONTINUE...)

* * *

**(ooh shit were getting so close 2 discovering the mastermind! :O i wonder who it cud be. i want 2 kno who guys think it is! also, because I care about UR opinions, i decided 2 add a poll onto my profile about this fic. its a poll wanting 2 know UR favorite characters from this story! :D so pls be sure 2 answer that! it includes all 18 students plus Nicki Minaj. pls answer it bbys. pls.)**


	24. the reviewers know all!

every1 was looking at each other distrustingly.

"i distrust all of u now" koizumi said. she distrusted everyone.

"i distrust all of u now y'all" paula said. she distrusted everyone.

"every 1s lost hope..." naegi said.

"shut up ur the mastermind naegi" queeriqueeri said.

"what the fuck queeriqueeri arent u the 1 who told me that paula deen was the mastermind." naegi asked

"yaaaa and? this picture oviously proves that UR THE MASTERMIND!" queeriqueeri accused. she then showed naegi her picture. it was every 1 in naegis picture having a snowball fight! except there wasnt any snow outside so they threw maizonos used tampons instead. they were all happy... except for junko. junko was making an ANNNNGGGGRRRRY FACE! except fanfiction net wont let me make an emoticon for it so pretend that this emoticon is an ANNNNNGRRRRYYYY FACE! V:(

naegi gasped. that was some good incriminating evidence queeriqueeri had there... but he knew he wasnt the mastermind... so what the fuck.

"guy$, like, we need to $top fiting and get alogn. it$ the only way well beet nicki minaj!" Ke$ha yelled. that inspirational speech... That beautiful, inspirational speech... didnt do shit and they all kept arguing. they argued so much that maizonos weave got snatched out by paula deen.

"mY WEAVE!" maizono yelled.

"haha no weave maizono yall" paula deen said.

and then the lights went out :O and when they came back on... everyone screamed! Because... Togami was dead!

wait shit togami isnt even in this story gdi.

anyways... EVERYONE SCREAMED :O because... when the lights came back on... Paula Deen, the Super High School Level Butter, was dead! D:

"guys i swear 2 god i didnt kill her" maizono said as she was holding the knife that killed paula deen.

"maizono... how cood u?" naegi asked.

then nicki minajs voice BOOMED over the intercom. "okay bitches we got a dead body here. imma let yall investigate the body and then well commence for the FINAL SCHOOL TRIAL!"

"but... but we didnt even get to investigate to find out whos mastermind!" koizumi said.

"i checked... i checked the reviews of the fic... one reviewer says its seyonji! SO IT HAS TO BE SEYONJI! :O" chihiro said.

"who the FUCK is seyonji?" koizumi asked.

"that me-_-" seyonji said.

"oh shit he meant my yuri seyonji... hey seyonji." koizumi said.

"shut up and fuck me" seyonji said.

"but... seyonji-sama... were investigating a dead body"

"face down ass up thats the way we like to fuck" seyonji said.

"i agree" maizono said. "well, not for fucking. for twerking!" and then maizono twerked.

"anyways im not the mastermind. im not supposed to be talking until the sequel!" seyonji said.

"well... im out of ideas now..." chihiro said.

and then nicki minajs voice boomed over the intercom. "its time for the final school trial! please gather in the tiny ass elevators for court!" nicki said. and then every one shuddered with fear...

**_STUDENTS REMAINING: 6 out of 18_**

_**MAKOTO NAEGI  
CHIHIRO FUJISAKI  
**_MONDO OOWADA_**  
**_JUNKO ENOSHIMA**_  
_**_**KE$HA  
KYOQUISHA QUEERIQUEERI**__  
_AOI ASSAHINA**  
**SAKURA OOGAMI  
YASUHIRO HAGAKURE  
LOLITA RIHANNA  
MUKURO IKUSABA  
**_MILEY CYRUS "SAYAKA" MAIZONO  
_**_HIFUMI YAMADA  
POUNDED BY BALLS "LOEN" KUWATA  
__**MAHIRU KOIZUMI**_**_  
_**KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU**_  
_**TOUKO FUKAWA  
PAULA DEEN

**_ENDING PICTURE:_**

Naegi is in the middle of a large classroom, flipping the camera off. Fukawa is in the corner as genocider hoe holding her special ho scissors that she kills ppl with. loen is seen poledancing in the right corner. yamada is reading a mlp yaoi fanfiction in the left corner. sakura is weight lifting next to the window. Lolita Rihanna is seen in the front of the classroom worshiping satan. hagakure is smoking weed next to lolita rihanna. mukuro is seen about 2 stab yamada. mondo is in the front and appears 2 be leaning in to kiss somebody, but the person hes kissing isn't there. assahina is seen encouraging sakura 2 life weights and shes also eating donuts. junko is now next 2 mukuro talking on the phone about despair. mondo and ishimaru are in the front, kissing each other, while ishimaru is carving the words "NO HOMO" in the desk with a pen. paula is next to ishimaru and mondo eating a 5 pound tub of butter.

(2 BE CONTINUE...)


	25. deadchat interviews with ryouko otonashi

(Serious AN: Wow, I haven't done a serious AN in a while... It's basically going to be me being a little ranty. To the guest reviewer who literally took this parody seriously... Like, It clearly says this is a parody fic... Parodies TYPICALLY have offensive/shock/going-too-far humor. Not to mention the grammar in the summary it's self is atrocious... So why you felt the need to review this and say that is beyond me.

It really shouldn't be said at this point, but for those of you who don't know; This is a parody fic/crack fic/troll fic. It's not meant to be taken seriously.)

(not srs an: wow okay i cant believe this story got its first h8r! :O does this mean im tumblr famous now? :O XD im jk. i want 2 thank all of my fanz for being really supportive of this story it is soooooo much fun 2 write but it takes a long time. like over 5 hour per chapter! im so glad u guys enjoy my hard work and i hope the upcoming sequel 2 this story blows ur mind even more! ok but lets focus on this chapter 4 now.)

* * *

And then it was back to the tiny ass elevators for the final time. these elevators are smaller than mukuro ikusabas titties. anyways, the tension was high among the remaining dangit ronpauls... it was a do or die situation. they could either find the mastermind, or they all die... and im pretty sure that they want to live so they cant accuse wrong. what if they chose wrong though would that be fucked up or what lmfao.

"guys... narrator-chan is scaring me" chihiro said.

"wow frick off narrator" naegi said. sorry naegi.

"no somebody should have murdered narrator i cant stand the narrator for one more god damn second." queeriqueeri said. okay fine queeriqueeri ill dissapear and ull see why u need me.

"oh pls we dont need u narrator"

"wait... who said that"

"idk who said that"

"no... no..."

"guys i just realized that without narrator we cant figure out whos talking! :O"

"narrator-chan pls come back!"

ok ya so u see y u guys need me?

"ya i see why now." koizumi said.

"wow lets not ever make fun of narrator chan in the future" queeriqueeri said.

"this was a very dramatic moment in the tiny ass elevator" ishimaru said.

"ishimaru wtf i thought u were dead" koizumi said.

"i am lmfao #guestappearance #nohomo" ishimaru said. and then he went back 2 deadchat.

"heeeeyyyyy speaking of deadchat i wonder whats going on with the dead people!" chihiro said.

"god dammit chihiro now your gonna make us wait like over 1 chapters before we get to the trial!" naegi yelled. but ya chihiro had a good ass idea lets go see what the dead ppl are doing in the afterlife!

so it turns out the afterlife takes place... at the TIPTON HOTEL! :O ya its basically the suite life of zach and cody except everyones dead.

"NO RUNNING IN THE GOD DAMN LOBBY!" mr. mosebymaru yelled at fukawa and genocider hoe, who became 2 different people in the afterlife.

"im sorry mr. mosebymaru." fukawa said.

"im not sorry mr. mosebymaru" genocider hoe said. then mr mosebymaru noticed it was a journalist, Ryouko Otonashi.

"k hi im ryouko otonashi"

**_SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL NEVER GONNA BE IN THIS STORY AS A MAIN CHARACTER DUE TO BEING A MAIN CHARACTER IN A USELESS SPIN OFF NOVEL SO I'LL JUST MAKE HER A REPORTER IN THIS STORY SO SHE'LL HAVE SOME FORM OF MENTION- RYOUKO OTONASHI_**

"so mr mosebymaru... why r all the ded ppl working at the tipton hotel?"

mr mosebymaru smiled "lol okay so basically if u ever murdered in ur time in the live world ur forced to work at the tipton hotel until u can work off enough time. then once uve worked long neough ull be discharged and u can live peacefully in the deadchat as a resident of the tipton hotel."

"interesting... so who else works here?" ryouko asked.

"ok lol so im the manager. genocider hoe and fukawa are the twins. maddie junko fitzpatrick is the candy girl. queeriqueeri is still alive, dumb bitch. Lolita Esteban is the bellhop and thats pretty much it." mr mosebymaru said.

"ok and what about maddie junko?" ryouko asked.

"im right here!" maddie junko yelled from the candy counter.

"AHHHHHH YOU PIGTAILED BITCH DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!" ryouko yelled.

"lol" maddie junko said. "ok can we stop with these gay ass names now its pissing me off" maddie junko asked.

"aww but I didn't even get to say my name is Lolita Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramírez." lolita rihanna said.

"u just did..." ryouko said.

"oh" lolita rihanna said.

"ya" ryouko said. "okay, so now its time to talk to the victims, and ask them how they feel about being dead! first, we will talk with the first victim, Byakuya Togami!"

...

...

...

"I have just received word that togami is not in this story."ryouko said.

"so instead, we will ask the first murder victim, Yasuhiro 420 Hagakure." then ryouko snap her fingers and shes in hagakures room, with all the other dead dangans lined up.

"so, hagakure, how do u feel about being dead?" ryouko asked.

"why the fuck did i die first dude i was fuckin comedy genus!" hagakure said.

"ok. now its time 2 ask loen pounded by balls kuwata how he feels about being dead."

"its a... suite life... lmfao" loen said.

"ok how about yamada" ryouko asked.

"lol... ive been clopping so much since ive got here!" yamada annoucne

"what" ryouko asked

"i mean ive been wopping so much since ive got here!"

"oh...kaaaayyyy... how about mondo oowada?"

"its been ssooooo nice being able 2 see my yaoi again!" mondo said with a grin.

"#2kawaii" ryouko said

"ya lol" mondo said.

"ok so how about sakura oogami?" ryouko asks.

"its been sooooo nice being able 2 see my yuri again" sakura said.

"ok so how about assahina?" ryouko asked.

"its been sooooo nice being able 2 see my yuri again" assahina said. "plus ive been able 2 give deadchat more gay ass ideas!" assahina said.

"wow... okay... so youve heard it here first folks. the dead people of dangan ronpa a life of new hope are doing great. i am ryouko otonashi, and i have been your reporter for this evening"

**_STUDENTS REMAINING: 6 out of 18_**

_**MAKOTO NAEGI  
CHIHIRO FUJISAKI  
**_MONDO OOWADA_**  
**_JUNKO ENOSHIMA**_  
_**_**KE$HA  
KYOQUISHA QUEERIQUEERI**__  
_AOI ASSAHINA**  
**SAKURA OOGAMI  
YASUHIRO HAGAKURE  
LOLITA RIHANNA  
MUKURO IKUSABA  
**_MILEY CYRUS "SAYAKA" MAIZONO  
_**_HIFUMI YAMADA  
POUNDED BY BALLS "LOEN" KUWATA  
__**MAHIRU KOIZUMI**_**_  
_**KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU**_  
_**TOUKO FUKAWA  
PAULA DEEN

**_ENDING PICTURE:_**

Naegi is in the middle of a large classroom, flipping the camera off. Fukawa is in the corner as genocider hoe holding her special ho scissors that she kills ppl with. loen is seen poledancing in the right corner. yamada is reading a mlp yaoi fanfiction in the left corner. sakura is weight lifting next to the window. Lolita Rihanna is seen in the front of the classroom worshiping satan. hagakure is smoking weed next to lolita rihanna. mukuro is seen about 2 stab yamada. mondo is in the front and appears 2 be leaning in to kiss somebody, but the person hes kissing isn't there. assahina is seen encouraging sakura 2 life weights and shes also eating donuts. junko is now next 2 mukuro talking on the phone about despair. mondo and ishimaru are in the front, kissing each other, while ishimaru is carving the words "NO HOMO" in the desk with a pen. paula is next to ishimaru and mondo eating a 5 pound tub of butter.

(2 BE CONTINUE...)

* * *

(not srs an: ya ok lol so i decided 2 write a chapter explaining what the dead ppl were doing because that needed 2 be explained! but itll definitely be the trial next chapter i promise. but 4 now pls review! it meens da word 2 me when u review thank u all 4 reding abd being supportiv ily all 3 3)


	26. class trial 6: the battle of nicki minaj

(OMG SAUSE D: im soooooo srry i havent updated nd left u all in suspense! i just hav had a lot goign on D: schol started back aftur fal brek, plus ive had riters block thats been preventing me from upd8ing this nd my other fics! so i havent been able 2 update! n e ways this chaper is going 2 be SOOOOOUPER speshul bc its going to be in character! :O ya lolz so lets begin. )

* * *

**_COURT IS NOW IN SESSION_**

Nicki: Aye bitches... And welcome to da final school trial. We finna find out not only who had murdered Paula Deen, but also who da mastermind is.

Naegi: What's with the new writing style?

Nicki: I'm glad u asked Naegi. WE FINNA BE IN CHARACTER DIS TRIAL!

Maizono: You mean... IN CHARACTER IN CHARACTER?!

Nicki: Das right!

Koizumi: Ugh! I hate Roleplaying Koizumi! Can I chara swap?

Nicki: NO! CHARACTER SWAPPIN IS FORBIDDEN.

Fujisaki: Uuuu... B-But... Can we... R-Really figure out who killed Paula Deen?

Ke$ha: We have to like... Debate and stuff...

Kirigiri: Hmph. I do believe I can do this.

Nicki: ...NAW FUCK DIS SHIT LETS GO BACK TO DA OLD FORMAT.

naegi brethed a sigh of relief, "wow that was such torture"

"ya that was rly stupid" koizumi said.

"but... I like being in character chihiro fujisaki :(" fujisaki said.

"frick u fujisak lolz" nicki said.

**_NONSTOP DEBATE_**

maizono: ok lolz so who killed paula deen

chihiro: not me

naegi: not me

koizumi: **_YOUVE GOT HTE WROGN!_**

**_END NONSTOP DEBATE_**

"naegi kun u idiot ur not supposed 2 speak during nonstop debates" koizumi said.

"dont tell me how to live my life" naegi said.

"wait... naegi speaking during the nonstop debate... this must mean hes the... uuu... the-tell them naegi" chihiro said.

"oh wow this is hard." naegi said. "harder than komaeda when hes around hinata"

_**EPIPHANY ANAGRAM!**_

_**M_**_

_**ME_**_

_**MER_**_

_**MERD_**_

_**MERDE_**_

_**MERDER_**_

_**MERDERE_**_

_**MERDERER**_

Naegi: I GTO TI!

**_END EPIPHANY ANAGRAM!_**

"thats right, naegi. it means ur the MERDERER!" chihiro said

"no im not tho" naegi said.

"oh fuck now im out of ideas" chihiro said.

"how about we mass debate on-" but then maizono got cut off by nicki minaj.

"ok ya lol im in the trial now" nicki said.

"when did we decide on this?" maizono asked.

"we didn't. now lets mass debate" nicki said.

**NONSTOP DEBATE**

nicki: wouldnt maizono be the merderer?

chihiro: the merderer...

chihiro: is the one who killed paula deen with the knife

koizumi: so it IS maizono!

maizono: no its not

naegi: **GOD DAMN IT!**

**END NONSTOP DEBATE**

"w-wait... i have an idea as to who killed paula deen!" koizumi yelled out.

"who? who?" nicki said.

"it was chihiro! because of what happened in the elevator!" koizumi said

chihiro had a look of shock on his face. "w-what did i do?"

"thats right!" maizono began. "we went 2 see what the deadchat was up too... because of u! it was u tryin 2 distract us from hte trial!"

"you... you've got that wrong... **BITCH!**" chihiro yelled.

"wow rude" maizono said.

"o sorry that was the shsl pimp in me coming out." chihiro said. "n e ways i didnt do it."

"hm... I GOT IT!" queeriqueeri yelled. "if it wasnt any of us who did it... theres only 1 person who could have done it!"

"w-wait... u dont meen..." naegi said.

queeriqueeri nodded. "i do mean... tell them, naegi"

"ok togami" naegi said.

**MAKE AN ACCUSATION!**

**__****MAKOTO NAEGI  
CHIHIRO FUJISAKI  
**MONDO OOWADA_  
_JUNKO ENOSHIMA******_  
_**_**KE$HA  
KYOQUISHA QUEERIQUEERI**__  
_AOI ASSAHINA  
SAKURA OOGAMI  
YASUHIRO HAGAKURE  
LOLITA RIHANNA  
MUKURO IKUSABA**  
****_MILEY CYRUS "SAYAKA" MAIZONO  
_**HIFUMI YAMADA  
POUNDED BY BALLS "LOEN" KUWATA**_  
___****MAHIRU KOIZUMI****_  
_**KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU_  
_TOUKO FUKAWA  
PAULA DEEN  
**[NICKI MINAJ]**

**Naegi: IT CLOUD NOLY BE U!**

"nicki minaj... we hav evidense that it was u" naegi said.

"lol ok ya it was me good job." nicki said.

"I... CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" chihiro began. "nicki minaj... is the... the... tHE... THE MEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEERRRREEEER RRR!"

"ya, and?" nicki said.

"but like, why did you do it?" ke$ha asked. "why did u kill paula deen?" ke$ha asked.

"o i hav my reasons, ke$ha... but i cant tell u until the second part of this trial."

"wat :O" naegi said. "what second part? :O"

"naegi u already knew 1 part was gonna be dedicated 2 catching paulas killer and the second part to discovering the mastermind." queeriqueeri said.

"o right" naegi said.

nicki laughed evily. "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! UPUPUPUPUPUPUPUPUPU! DAAHAHAHAHAHAA! TEEHEEHEEEHEEHEEHEEHEEE"

as nicki was laughing, everyone was looking scared.

"n... no!" chihiro said, clasping his handz 2gether.

"ngh!" ke$ha said.

"wh-why?" maizono said.

"this is..." naegi said, crying.

"i blame men" koizumi said with a straight face.

"we... we have 2 end this trial, and escape the school... ONCE AND 4 ALL!" queeriqueeri said.

_**(2 B CONTINUED)**_

(ok lol so since this is hte end game, the pic will now be completed, with both the surviving students nd the ded students, just like the anime! so all of hte studentz r gonna be in da ending pic!)

**_STUDENTS REMAINING: 6 out of 18_**

_**MAKOTO NAEGI  
CHIHIRO FUJISAKI  
**_MONDO OOWADA_**  
**_JUNKO ENOSHIMA**_  
_**_**KE$HA  
KYOQUISHA QUEERIQUEERI**__  
_AOI ASSAHINA**  
**SAKURA OOGAMI  
YASUHIRO HAGAKURE  
LOLITA RIHANNA  
MUKURO IKUSABA  
**_MILEY CYRUS "SAYAKA" MAIZONO  
_**_HIFUMI YAMADA  
POUNDED BY BALLS "LOEN" KUWATA  
__**MAHIRU KOIZUMI**_**_  
_**KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU**_  
_**TOUKO FUKAWA  
PAULA DEEN

**_ENDING PICTURE:_**

Naegi is in the middle of a large classroom, flipping the camera off. Fukawa is in the corner as genocider hoe holding her special ho scissors that she kills ppl with. loen is seen poledancing in the right corner. yamada is reading a mlp yaoi fanfiction in the left corner. sakura is weight lifting next to the window. Lolita Rihanna is seen in the front of the classroom worshiping satan. hagakure is smoking weed next to lolita rihanna. mukuro is seen about 2 stab yamada. mondo is in the front and appears 2 be leaning in to kiss somebody, but the person hes kissing isn't there. assahina is seen encouraging sakura 2 life weights and shes also eating donuts. junko is now next 2 mukuro talking on the phone about despair. mondo and ishimaru are in the front, kissing each other, while ishimaru is carving the words "NO HOMO" in the desk with a pen. paula is next to ishimaru and mondo eating a 5 pound tub of butter. Maizono has her arm wrapped around Naegi nd shes blushing (while twerking at the same time). Chihiro is seen watching porn on his laptop. Koizumi is seen taking pictures of chihiro watching porn on his laptop (Shes taking pics 4 the school paper). Ke$ha is seen right next 2 naegi nd maizono drinking a bottle of jack. Queeriqueeri is on the other side of Maizono nd Naegi, smiling. Nicki Minaj is next to Lolita Rihanna with a half pink nd half yellow afro wig, nd blue lipstick, she is smiling evily.

(2 BE CONTINUE...)

* * *

(AN: ok so tell me what u think of hte now completed picture nd the chapter! i works rly hard on dis chapter!)


	27. class trial 7: caught the mastermind! :O

"s-so... no climax inference this trial?" chihiro asked.

naegi lol'd. "no bc were saving taht until hte epic mastermind reveal."

"speking of which whos da mastermind bc i hav no clue" koizumi said.

"if i had 2 guess..." queeriqueeri began. "the mastermind is all of u plotting against me"

"wat" naegi said

"wat" ke$ha said

"generic question" maizono said.

"ya" queeriqueeri said.

**NONSTOP DEBATE**

chihiro: wh-whyyyyyy do u think were all hte mastermind queeriqueeri?

queeriqueeri: dis photo. it proves it.

koizumi: i got a photo like dat as well.

ke$ha: like... me 2.

queeriqueeri: sooooooo ya ur all hte mastermind.

naegi: **YOU'VE GOT HTE WROGN!**

**END NONSTOP DEBATE**

"queeriqueeri... didnt u tell me who hte mastermind was like a few chapters ago?" naegi asked.

"wtf i forgot about that..." queeriqueeri said. everyone gasped.

"QUEERIQUEERI TELL U$ WHO THE FUCKING MA$TERMIND IS!" ke$ha yelled.

"ke$ha! pls dont be rude 2 queeriqueeri! BE FUCKING TERRIBLE TO QUEERIQUEERI! **_QUEEERRRRRRIIIIIQUEEEEEEEERRRRRRIIII Y HAV U BEEEEEEEEEN HOLDING OUT ON USSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!?"_**chihiro yelled.

"chihiro calm ur mosquito bite nipple pre-pubescent shota ass down nd listen 2 me..." queeriqueeri said in a mysterious tone. everyone was intrigued by the mysterious tone of queeriqueeri's voice.

"such mystery..." maizono said.

"the mastermind... the 1 who locked u in here... it's... tell them naegi" queeriqueeri said.

"frick u queeriqueeri"

**_MAKE AN ACCUSATION!_**

_**MAKOTO NAEGI  
CHIHIRO FUJISAKI  
**_MONDO OOWADA_  
_JUNKO ENOSHIMA**_  
_**_**KE$HA  
KYOQUISHA QUEERIQUEERI**_**_  
_**AOI ASSAHINA  
SAKURA OOGAMI  
YASUHIRO HAGAKURE  
LOLITA RIHANNA  
MUKURO IKUSABA**  
****_MILEY CYRUS "SAYAKA" MAIZONO  
_**HIFUMI YAMADA  
POUNDED BY BALLS "LOEN" KUWATA**_  
_**_**MAHIRU KOIZUMI**_**_  
_**KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU_  
_TOUKO FUKAWA  
[PAULA DEEN]  
**NICKI MINAJ**

naegi: **IT CLOUD NOLY BE U!**

"yea das right its paula deen... i know bc of what queeriqueeri told me." naegi said.

**FLASHBACK!**

queeriqueeri: after we escape from hopes peek lets murder maizono so we cn run off nd be together.

naegi: lel k

**END FLASHBACK**

"WRONG FUCKING FLASHBACK NAEGI!" queeriqueeri yelled.

"o shit sorry"

**FLASHBACK!**

queeriqueeri: its... its... Paula Deen...

queeriqueeri: after i came 2 life... paula moved 2 fosters whore house 4 imaginary friends, you kno, the place where u go if u dont have no friends. and she learned how 2 create imaginary friends... and thats how nicki minaj came 2 be

naegi: queeriqueeri nobody gives a shit about ur sad backstory

queeriqueeri: naegi pls ur ruining this flashback.

**END FLASHBACK**

"and that's exactly how it happened :3" naegi said. everyone looked at him with an really angry face.

"NAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGIIIIIIIIIIII!" chihiro yelled.

"wat :(" naegi frowned. chihiro was rly pissed.

"TAG UR FUCKING SPOILERS!" koizumi yelled.

"oh im sorry... but ya paulas the mastermind so we should b alowed 2 leve" naegi said.

"no bc u havent despaired yet." nicki yelled in all lower cas lettrs.

"the FUCK do you mean I havent despaired?!" chihiro yelled.

"god damn chihiro ur rly loud dis trial." nicki said.

"i lost my yaoi and my other yaoi." chihiro sad. "i despair"

"i watched junko and, like, mukuro die. im in despair." ke$ha said.

"i wasnt allowed 2 twerk 4 over like 1 hours. im in despair" maizono said.

"i had 2 go an entire day without seyonji :( except 4 prom. im in despair" koizumi said.

"idek im in despair bc naegi nd maizono r dating when it shud be me :(" queeriqueeri said.

"lel im not despairing but ill say it anyways. im in despair." naegi said.

"wow so much despair" nicki said.

"hey naegi-kun... how about instead of super high school level lucky person thing... you get a new hip, funky title like the rest of us?" maizono sed. "like... super high school level hope."

"no..." nicki said.

"i argee!" queeriqueeri yelled. "naegi... u showed me that theres a ray of hope beyond despair... or some bullshit like that. you, makoto naegi, should be super high school level hope!"

"s-stop this at once, bitchezzzz!" nicki fretted.

"naegi! u showed me that life is mor then just taking nude pics and turning the series murders into dirty titles..." koizumi said. "u also taught me that having an ahoge is vry important... you, makoto naegi, are the super high school level hope."

"BITCHES! STOP!" nicki yelled louder.

"like, naegi..." ke$ha began. "ur rly cool. u taught me that there$, like, hope nd $tuff... ur the $uper high $chool level hope."

"GAH! THIS IS NOT DESPAIR!" nicki yelled even louder.

"naegi... u didnt do shit for me... but i want to get the fuck out of here. so blah blah blah super high school level hope." chihiro said.

"not u 2 chihiro :(" nicki said.

"idek ya naegi. ily sooooooooo much! im sorry i tried 2 kill loen nd blame it on u. ur really the... super high school level hope." maizono said.

"ya... i feel it... THIS REALLY IS THE HIP, FUNKY TITLE I'VE BEEN WANTING ALL ALONG!

**_SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL HOPE- MAKOTO NAEGI_**

_"_n... no... i lost... i lost... :(" nicki said.

"ya nicki. u lose." koizumi said.

"ya u lose so hard theres no climax inference" chihiro said.

" i just... watned to bring despair 2 selener... BUT THIS WAS SO MUCH BETTER! :D" EVERY 1 GASPED! :O

but then... nicki did something expected... she voted for herself!

**_FINAL VOTE..._**

**_THE RESULTS ARE IN..._**

**_PAULA DEEN HAS BEEN VOTED MASTERMIND..._**

**_STUDENTS WERE CORRECT!_**

**_NICKI MINAJ HAS BEEN VOTED CULPRIT..._**

**_STUDENTS WERE CORRECT!_**

"well... ya ok heres the escape switch. press it nd ull leve the school." nicki said. and then she realized she lost the switch. dumb bitch... AYEEEEEEEE DAT RHYMED! "um ok ya so no escapin lost the switch."

"wait... WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THIS?!" MAIZONO SCREAMED. AND THEN SHE TELEPORTED... AND THEN SHE CRASHED BACK INTO THE ROOM, NAKED, ON A WRECKING BALL. "I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BAAAAAAAAAAALLLLL!" she yelled. and then there was the outside world! :o

"ok but can we watch nickis execution first?" koizumi asked.

"ok" maezono sed. the nicki hovered her hand over the execution button

**_Nicki: Upupu... Upupupu...!_**

**Ah, it's so wonderful... This is the death's Despair, isn't it...!**

**Even one tenth... no, even one hundredth of this Despair...!**

**I wanted Selener to experience something like that...!**

**I wanted to paint Selener with such stunning Despair!**

**_Nicki: Here we go!_**

**_Nicki: A special punishment, worthy of being the final one!_**

**_Nicki: Let's give it all we got! It's punishment time!_**

**_Nicki:  
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_**

**_CONGRATULATIONS!_**

**NICKI MINAJ HAS BEEN FOUND GUILTY**

**COMMENCING EXECUTION**

...

...

...

**NICKI MINAJ EXECUTION: SUPER DUPER NICKI TORTURE **

ok dude im like too lazy to type out this execution. so just imagine junkos canon execution but with a bunch of creepy nicki minaj faces crudely photoshopped over junko's face.

(psst if some 1 makes this 4 me i will love them 5 ever)

**_STUDENTS REMAINING: 6 out of 18_**

_**MAKOTO NAEGI  
CHIHIRO FUJISAKI  
**_MONDO OOWADA_**  
**_JUNKO ENOSHIMA**_  
_**_**KE$HA  
KYOQUISHA QUEERIQUEERI**__  
_AOI ASSAHINA**  
**SAKURA OOGAMI  
YASUHIRO HAGAKURE  
LOLITA RIHANNA  
MUKURO IKUSABA  
**_MILEY CYRUS "SAYAKA" MAIZONO  
_**_HIFUMI YAMADA  
POUNDED BY BALLS "LOEN" KUWATA  
__**MAHIRU KOIZUMI**_**_  
_**KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU**_  
_**TOUKO FUKAWA  
PAULA DEEN

**_ENDING PICTURE:_**

Naegi is in the middle of a large classroom, flipping the camera off. Fukawa is in the corner as genocider hoe holding her special ho scissors that she kills ppl with. loen is seen poledancing in the right corner. yamada is reading a mlp yaoi fanfiction in the left corner. sakura is weight lifting next to the window. Lolita Rihanna is seen in the front of the classroom worshiping satan. hagakure is smoking weed next to lolita rihanna. mukuro is seen about 2 stab yamada. mondo is in the front and appears 2 be leaning in to kiss somebody, but the person hes kissing isn't there. assahina is seen encouraging sakura 2 life weights and shes also eating donuts. junko is now next 2 mukuro talking on the phone about despair. mondo and ishimaru are in the front, kissing each other, while ishimaru is carving the words "NO HOMO" in the desk with a pen. paula is next to ishimaru and mondo eating a 5 pound tub of butter. Maizono has her arm wrapped around Naegi nd shes blushing (while twerking at the same time). Chihiro is seen watching porn on his laptop. Koizumi is seen taking pictures of chihiro watching porn on his laptop (Shes taking pics 4 the school paper). Ke$ha is seen right next 2 naegi nd maizono drinking a bottle of jack. Queeriqueeri is on the other side of Maizono nd Naegi, smiling. Nicki Minaj is next to Lolita Rihanna with a half pink nd half yellow afro wig, nd blue lipstick, she is smiling evily.

(2 BE CONTINUE...)

* * *

(AN: wow! i never expected nicki 2 get executed! nd im the author! :o so i kno u didnt expect it. n e ways... THERE'S ONLY 1 MORE CHAPTER LEFT;

HTE EPILOGUE! :O so ya stay tooned 4 it. im so excite 4 it nd the sequel.

in the meantime, pls review nd let me know what you think of this shocking chapter. i put SOOOOOOOOOOOO much effort into this chapter. like, 5 hour into the actual chapter, nd OVER 8 HOURS INTO NICKI MINAJ'S WELL THOUGHT OUT EXECUTION! :O but ya pls review it meenz da world 2 me.)


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